Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
hey! I'm new here and looking for advice from others in similar situations. I met my boyfriend about 6 years ago when I was 14 and he was 16. We became best friends and were inseparable. We began dating on and off and when I turned 17 I became pregnant with his child. We now have a 1-year-old son together. We went through so many challenges and we really just got to the point I wanted us to be. Living together and raising our beautiful son. He was arrested 4 days ago for an attempted murder charge and 2nd-degree robbery. His bail is set at 1 million dollars. His family doesn't have any property to use as collateral in order to post bail. The trial process will take years and I'm so scared of what will happen to us all this time. Growing apart and my son not remembering his father. I've spoken to him twice for only a few minutes and he has just spewed information at me. No, I love yous or I miss yous that I would normally get if I left his side for a few hours before this situation happened. I was also told by a friend of a friend that he had cheated on me a few weeks prior to his arrest which is very hard for me to believe since as far as I knew he was very loyal our entire relationship. When I asked the girl she wouldn't answer the question and during his phone call today I mentioned it and he didn't have any reaction or response. I'm wondering if I should keep fighting and wait for his next call and ask him very straight forward or if I should start the grieving process now and prepare myself to walk away.
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Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
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Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
Perhaps focus on the child that you share and take your time to get to know the things that you see about your boyfriend and the way he behaves now
This would hurt for sure..... Another hug.....xo
However he's talking now, please take it with a grain of salt, he is certainly in shock, scared out of his wits, probably not thinking straight.
SunCloud has good advice, focus as much as you can on your son now, don't make any big decisions yet, it will be awhile before you are past the initial shock and can think well too. Try to be easy on yourself, you are carrying a huge load and it will probably be hard to even take care of the basics of life for awhile. That's a normal, human response, doesn't mean you're weak or crazy or anything like that.
Depending on where you live there might be a support group somewhere for families of people who are incarcerated. Maybe the public defender's office would be a good place to start asking???