Hey! First all big hugs, I totally understand you as I was reading this I was just thinking omg this sounds like me! Litterly everything you just wrote I 100% relate too. Except My boyfriend got arrested 4 months ago so we have been going through this for a little bit now. We are still waiting to see how long he is going to get ugh. We are looking at anywhere from another few months to like 3/4 years the gap of not knowing sucks. But I am staying with him, as we already made it this far and I love him so much. Trust me the not knowing is awful, and it can take awhile to get that answer since we have already been waiting so long. What everyone tells me is except the worst and hope for the best. Try not to think about the time until you know. That is what I have been doing, until I get the timeline I can't really plan my life point A to B. Which sucks but I still have managed to live my life. The first few months was hard but I have started to get into a routine. I have been growing in my friendships, I joined a Christian group in my area and started doing voolunteer work. The way I look at this whole thing is this is the only time in my life we're im going to get to focus all my time on myself, so use it well and use it to grow. My boyfriend and I plan on getting married so I'm looking at this as my last time to just do me, with not having to worry about dating. It's okay to have fun while he is away but be careful on the kinda fun your having. For example we all know going out to bars/clubs could not be the best idea and make him feel inscure. You have to think about his feelings but also don't just sit at home, after all it's not your fault he is in jail. But at the same time you are in a relationship so be respectful of not getting into bad situations. As far as your relationship growing, my boyfriend and i's relationship has grown so much over the past 4 months, we know each other in ways that we never could have known before. You learn how to communicate well (at least we have) it requires work but if you love him it's worth it. We write each other a lot and we also read the Bible together, and I send him books we can read together. It helps us stay connected and feel like we have somthing that is the same in our lives. If you make the choice to stay you can do this, you can find the strength. Always feel free to message me or come to this group. <3

Hey sorry you need this group but it is a good group and we do get it.

I wont bs you this is hard work (we did 4 years) but it is doable. Definitely write to him its a good way of finding things out about each other that you didn't know before. Take his calls if you can afford it.
As for you going out and having fun....the pubs and clubs might not be a good idea but thats your call. You have to live for him and you so when you do go out tell him about it make him feel like his include in the fun this is really really important on say the holidays.
Hugs

At first you feel like your life is over & you feel really down in the dumps. My partner has been away 8months and he got sentenced to 11, so hopefully he is home july 28th i just felt sorry for myself for the first 4months and after that i got over it and got a new job, new car, and keep myself working, 10am-7pm by the time i get home im too tired to even think about it xx

Hey guys

Thanks for your advice. I'm just hoping this gets easier. As far as the bars go I haven't drank or gone out in 6 months so that's not an issue. I take his calls when I can and I write to him often and send pictures. I just hope this gets easier eventually. The worst part is nit knowing how long hes in for. I hate the uncertainty

I used to be with a guy that was incarcerated and trust me it's hard but if you want to make it work you will. It's obviously not something that you want that do but you almost have to develop a new normal tha works for you. For me and collin, we tried to have visits twice a week and he would call me on all of the other days. I would write him everyday and send him lots of pictures. I'd try to keep mtself busy with other things like work and going out with my friends, but I always made sure to make time for him as well. Just take it one day at a time. I think some of my biggest advice is to never feel like you can't talk to him because he is already locked up and you don't want to make him feel bad. If you're having a hard time, tell him!

Yeah I've been honest with him about how I'm feeling the entire time.

They charge so much to talk on the phone I've spend $470 already and it hasn't even been a month yet!!!!! It's so frustrating

My fiancé has been in for about 5 months now.... it's rough. For me I did as someone else said and I work a lot of hours. I prefer to work to occupy my time cuz it literally forces your mind other places for a lil while and creates some extra money for stuff like the phone. Set a budget if it's costing a lot of money and explain it to him. He will understand. Hopefully it won't be too long of a wait but as someone else said we all are currently or have experienced it so we all can be listening ears! This group has helped me in a lot of ways! Positive vibes and prayers!!