Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

1,470 Members
7,146 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Families of Prisoners Support Group

Meeting new people.

Grace_haslett
Grace_haslett

My oldest son is 6 & in kindergarten. A boy in his class lives on our street. I sent him with a note yesterday to give to his friend so his mom could text me. She texted me last night & wants to meet so our boys can play. How in the world do i bring up the fact that my husband is in jail!! I feel like once she knows she won't want her son playing with mine. Am I over thinking? I know it will come up because I have a baby & if I don't say where the kids dad is I know my son will sooner or later. My husbands is also a SO due to a relationship he was in at 17 & they didn't charge him till he turned 18. So there is that to! Ughhhhh. I want my son to make new friends. Help pleaseee

Ms.901996C
Ms.901996C
Um....there's a question but don't overthink it either.
If it were me, I'd tell her the very truth...casually .... from the beginning but only if she asks and "downplay" it. Don't give details but say we ran into some bad luck in our lives but we're trying to make things right.

People don't need to know your business. It has nothing to do with shame but it has to do with privacy and boundaries.

If she does judge then that's one person you don't need in your life, right?
Grace_haslett
Grace_haslett
I agree with you! It just sucks because right before he had to turn himself in we moved in with his parents so me & the kids could stay here while he's away. My son had to change schools & tells me all the time how he misses he's old life & old friends.
faithNlove
faithNlove
I am in the exact same boat! My daughter is 6 and everything happened when she was 3 (and my youngest was about 10 months, she's 4 now). Luckily, we didn't have to switch schools, but she started soccer at 4 and of course made friends with her teammates and a few of the parents and I hit it off really well. In the beginning, I would say my husband and I were separated. It was just easier that way. Once we really got to know each other and I felt comfortable enough around them, I then let them know my husband was in prison. They were understanding and non-judgmental. They are my best friends, my "Mom Tribe." Anything I need help with, they're all there for me and they even volunteer their husbands to help me out with "man" things - i.e. anything to do with drilling into the wall or tile, etc. I was also lucky enough to have a best friend who knew everything I was going through, and was there for me no matter what. Having her was a lifesaver.

If you want to be more upfront about it, I would wait until she asked about your husband. Just say he is in prison right now. And leave it at that. If she asks more questions about it, let her know respectfully you don't want to discuss it with the kids around. Like Ms.901996C said, it's about privacy and boundaries.

Now that my daughters are getting older, they are wanting to play with kids from their schools and like you, I'm nervous about the dreaded husband questions. But, we'll get through it and possibly make some new mom friends in the future :)
Suchaslife
Suchaslife
Ok as for the prison thing be honest with them as for the so thing well that one can bit you harder then him being in prison because normally people wont ask about the ins and outs but instead just go by whats on the registry and yes it can effect your kids!