You, my dear friend, are a very strong woman who is just have a weak momen. I know how hard all of this has been on both of you, but you have got to have faith! Everything you are going through and feeling right now is all part of a bigger plan. I know that is no consolation for your grieving, broken heart...but, "this too, shall pass". I PROMISE.

You give me and so many others on here wonderful positive advice on how to make it through each trial we all face. Now, you MUST trust in yourself, and take your OWN advice to help get thru! You can't let this break you. Just like you have said before to others...he WILL be coming home to you, and then you both will be able to move forward with continuing to build a wonderfully life together!

You got this! ;-)

I understand what you are feeling, I think it is just part of the process. As Lwayne says keep the faith. Will be praying for you

I think what you are going through is normal. There are still so many unknowns. Once you know for sure when he gets out, then it starts getting better. You can do the COUNT DOWN, you can start making plans. Right now, everything is up in the air, it's winter, and you are just sick of it all. Once you aren't cooped up in the house so much, it will be better for you, too. I went for alot of walks.

I remember when we didn't know the amount of time he would get. We were so nervous. It did feel very ominous. You have no way of knowing how it will go, so you freak out. You start thinking all the worst things.

Now I know you want the Shock Program, as that would get him home sooner, but you will miss talking to him so much. Those calls are our life lines. You will adjust to that too. When mine could, he called 3 times a day or more. But when in treatment program, it was less, but when I knew he was in class and couldn't call, I was just fine. When he was in solitary, I bolted out of bed to be awake for that early morning call. I knew it was the only one he would get, and if they didn't let him, then I worried all day. But that was solitary. Adam will be busy all day, you will know he is doing good things to get himself out of there faster.

When you know WHY they aren't able to call it's different than if you think they can, and you sit and wait and wait and the calls don't come.

When I knew he was busy or unable to call certain times a day, I was more relieved, if that makes sense Knowing the reason they aren't calling helps.. I knew I could do things and not worry I would miss his calls. Even vacuuming when you are waiting for the calls is hard. You have to have a very loud ringer, or hold that damn phone in one hand while you vacuum with the other. Everything we do is based around hearing the phone. So those times you can't talk to him, you will find things to do.

The first few days will be the hardest for both of you to adjust to the new routine. But he will be home in awhile then, and it will all be good, just like it is for us now. By my fiance going to treatment, it skimmed off 2 more years off of his sentence. I knew it was worth what we had to live with then.

Angela, you can't give up now you have come so so far since you came to this site. I believe it is the fear of the unknown and that is perfectly understandable, we are all afraid of the unknown but it will pass Like lwayne said you area strong women having a weak moment and we all have them. We are all praying for you, you'll be ok, just don't loose your faith.
Hugs,
Pat

Thank you, friends. I would be lost without this group.

Don't loose hope!!! Things happen in mysterious ways and before you know it things will look up. I have felt the same way many times over and over. However prayer does help. Keep your head up and embrace the time that u get to spend with him. Phone calls are like gold and getting one is even better. I know!

I go through cycles like this quite a bit. Try to find something that gives you hope. A certain song, picture or something to look at or listen to helps me to snap out of it sometimes. A sunny day can sometimes help. Maybe we will have one of those soon - LOL. We got another 7 inches of snow yesterday. Big hugs to you, and hope that you are feeling better soon. Hang in there and keep your chin up!

i am in the same place you are, his hearing is March 5th. He got arrested Jan 27th ( my moms bday ) he has a parole violation. they could send him back for 24 months or let him go back on parole. This not knowing kills me. We have only been together for 4 months but I am so in love with him.... I get to go see him for the first time Wednesday.

I am so sorry you are all going through these hard times. I fear we will be back doing what you are if mine don't stop the drinking.

The time they are in is so hard. It's hard to even figure out how to handle it, but I am telling you, somehow we survive and get stronger when they are in. We have no choice.

Then mine gets out, everything is fine, then back to the crap. I am dreading him getting worse and ending up back in. I will really be just like you all, again.

I am so sorry you are all so sad. Me too!