one thing is there was never privacy because from what I understand all prisons phone calls are subjected to monitoring & recording they also read letters as well...
I don't know if he was a penpal prior to going to prison or if he was in prison while you started to write but be careful I'm not trying to be mean or start something some inmates after they get out they become a phantoms lot of them are just looking for someone to write to again I'm not trying to start something..I've written to a couple inmates that my ex asked me to write to which I did and after they got out never heard from them again..

Yep no privacy on the phone/letters but I'm still naughty as that's part of my personality :P

I too met my hubz to be via penpal site. Yes as the poster above said some can in fact be scumbags, but not all! I happened to find a diamond in the rough! I know this because we broke up, I got married/had a baby, lost DH, then 6 months later hubz to be wrote and told me he still loved me and to prove it he sent the very first picture I sent him! I could tell he carried it in his wallet all the time because of the edges. We've been friends for 7 years and he's been the only constant person in my life and I'm so glad I wrote that first letter <3

You're lucky because you get to visit with him; I can't for our circumstances. Do they hover of you guys at the visit? I'm sure you can have some dirty talk if it's only y'all licking your lips or something lol! I always say to my guy it's a good thing I can't really visit because Id be all over him :P

Do you guys write sexy letters to each other? I'm lucky to get one once a year, but he hates writing in general,but I still send them to him. Besides he tells me all the time he'd rather show me than tell me. Good gawd that day isn't coming fast enough :P

For me when I really feel lonely I'll find some pictures/quizzes etc, to send. I send song lyrics of what I'm listening to while thinking about him. You can always go to Dollar Tree and find a card or two to send; It doesn't have to be just for holidays, you know just because.

Find an app or something with a countdown to when he'll be home. Somedays are better than others but always remember he will be home eventually!

Brandnewangel - I know all about inmates who attach to penpals for their gain. I've heard so many horror stories and with months of speculation I've realized he's one of the good guys. I'm

gregsbaby....Privacy.

Yeah...lol forgot about the monitored phone calls and letters. Doesn't really bother me that much. I'm sure they read through tons of seductive letters but when I first met him, our calls were more frequent due to availability and because he was segregated at the time, he had "private" phone calls in his cell without other inmates listening in. Our relationship was built on those calls even though we both love writing.

I'm in Canada and he has recently transferred to a prison closer to me. I'm able to visit once a month (no...no hovering but the guards keep a very close eye on monitors as there are cameras everywhere) and he calls every second day but I'm questioning our relationship now because he's no longer flirtatious or talks dirty anymore.
When I ask him about it he tells me it's because of the guys on his unit being within arms reach of the phone. I chalked it up to him just being uncomfortable around them because he's the new guy on the range. His letters are still sexy but I only get about one a month.

As of now, he doesn't have a release date but is behaving and taking programs so that he can be transferred to a medium security and possibly in the next 6 months get conjugal visits. So his actions show me that he's making a plan for our future and we're very flirty in visits and letters but when he calls he feels distant and aloof.

I miss him though. I send pictures and song lyrics about twice a week. I've never been this type of relationship before and I'm afraid that if I keep feeling disconnected like this, it'll fall apart.

Any thoughts?

My man had been away for a year has 2 to go I’m in Aus and we write everyday and I’m lucky we get to talk everyday most of the day unless it’s all day lock in we get to visit once a week guards don’t hover we can kiss, touch and cuddle as much as we want but I miss him so much he is just so beautiful and he doesn’t care who’s listening we talk dirty all the time nothing wrong with passion

missingsp....wow I wish K would care less about who's listening and put those insecurities aside for me.
It's strange because I tell him exactly what I need to hear (and it's not all sexual) but he just can't do it. He blames the prison system.

Have you read about PICS (Post-Incarceration Syndrome)? He may already be suffering.

Sounds like you don't believe his reasons he is giving you, could this be an issue with trust on your side, think about it from his frame of reference rather than yours, try to understand how he feels, new place, new concerns , it must be hard for you both although it sounds the move nearer us better for younger has to deal with a new to live in , hope this doesn't sound harsh, Im a fully qualified counsellor therapist and tend to look at both sides

@missinggsp be careful on how much you guys are kissing the screws will come up to you and tell you to watch your hands or knees. Iam in Australia too.

Please remember some guys react different to guys in there who get the lovely phone calls and letters every day we came up against in every prison D was in he got from guys in there who he told to f...off and i got it from women on the outside. Yes we wrote every day (there are limits to how dirty you can be in letters lol) we talked every weekend and at least once during the week. I work full time so didn't have much time for being lonely.
Yes phone calls and letters are checked.....i know this for a fact when D out date come and went and we didn't know if he had a date he did a letter to me telling me not to expect him home for Christmas well one of the screws read it and called him up and showed him the paper work with his out date on it so yeah they read out going.
You gotta keep busy it really does help.

SL what were the women on the outside doing to you? I swear some women just need to worry about what's going on behind their own damn doors instead of other peoples smdh!

Ms6C why is he blaming the prison system? I don't know maybe the hubz to be has gotten used to it since he's been in for a minute. But I can't really say that either because he's never not told me, well except for dirty talk but I talk dirty enough for us both :P

Are the visits good? Lots of eye contact? Maybe next visit try once more to tell him what you talk about here. I hope he'll come around soon for you!

GB i got "your relationship isn't as good as ours coz your not here every weekend "..,.we 4.5 hours one way from his prison used to get up at 2am to go see him once a month. I got "your wasting your time sending in his magazine " no i wasn't yes it coast a bit but he only got them once a month and that was after the screws read them! From one of the screws i coped "i wouldn't bother giving them money" i put his $140 on his books when i went and saw him that screw got told off by her boss. I got picked for wearing one of my rockabilly dresses admittedly the women who said it would of looked bloody awful in on but hey what can you do! Oh then there was the watch your hands, watch your knees, handwand thing going off on my bra clip and getting asked what was i hiding! Oh the screws getting someone in coz they couldn't read my hand writing and they thought i was up to no good (yes my hand writing is rubbish ) the screws going through my car....do you want me to go on??
Thats just some of the bull i had to put up with.

Sheesh some people...smh! I only talk about Gregory on here because I go through enough mess daily. Not that I'm ashamed, just really nobody's business. If someone asks I just say he's away for awhile and I'll eventually be moving :P

Anyhoo you're proving them wrong. My hero :) :)

Awww thanks
Yeah some people are just horrible you wouldn't think you get that from other people seeing there loved ones but hey theres always a few.

Hey ladies,

Well, just got back from a visit yesterday and all is really really well. He's a totally different person in visits which goes to show you that actions speak louder than words.

Ruby, it's not so much a trust issue as my high maintenance, attention seeking issue LOL!
I really do believe he's just a very "private" person and doesn't want the guys in his range to hear our conversations. He has also mentioned previously that he has known many inmates' girlfriends leave them for another inmates in his jail. I think it all ties into his insecurities also. He knows that I'd NEVER do that but ...it may be lurking in the back of his mind that it "could" happen.

I got the best compliment yesterday.
I was thinking about the whole PICS theory Suchaslife so I asked him what would be the number one thing he's most afraid of on his release.
His answer was "ME".
Awww!!!! LOL I'm such a sap. We were both laughing cause he was teasing me but if you think about it...It's a really loving and romantic thing for him to think we'll be together for that long. If that doesn't spell commitment, I don't know WHAT does. :)