Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
Im in shock. Stephen was just picked up on a probation violation. Im not sure what to do. At this moment, Im just numb I think. Im totally terrified of what comes next. He was supposed to stay away from my place of work that is part of his probation requirements. Well, he needed some money so he stopped by so I could give it to him. Well, stupid me, I forgot my atm card at my desk and had to run back up and get it. During that time, someone must have spotted him and reported him. Last I saw of him, I gave him a quick kiss, and he was out the door to catch the bus. Shortly after that, a campus police officer was at my desk to talk to me. She told me he had been spotted and arrested. I felt like I was punched in the gut, no, not punched, more like hit with a 2 by 4. Hes been taken to their police station and I guess they will contact his probation officer. I do not know what is going to happen from here. I am terrified. Violation of his terms could mean 18 months straight time. I dont know what I am going to do. Will they throw him in jail for this minor violation? To make matters worse, and this is what really scares me, he tested positive for drugs the last time he saw his po. She told him he had to immediately go to an assessment center and get evaluated for alcohol and drug abuse usage and he did it. Of course, they recommended inpatient treatment, which is something we cant afford. We had looked up NA meetings in our area and he was going to start going to those (he hadnt gotten the courage to go yet). She could have revoked his probation right then and there, but she gave him a chance. Hes been in job skills training, and just had one more week left and they were going to place him in a job. I actually thought we were on the right track. Now its crashing in on me. If he had anything on him (you know what I mean), I know for sure its over, hes in for sure. The worst thing is, I dont know what is happening. I just have to sit and wait until someone contacts me, or I find something out. And we all know these things can take forever. Im not sure what I am going to do. Literally, I am just numb. Surprisingly, I am not crying, for some reason, there are no tears at this point. I guess that will come later perhaps it hasnt hit me yet, but rest assured it will. PLEASE, have good thoughts for Steve and his situation. I know this is all our fault for him coming here and violating the terms, but maybe, just maybe they will give him another chance. Sorry this is soo long; Im just so lost right now. Keep me in your thoughts as well, I need all the prayers and good wishes that I can get. Thank you all.
jody0385
To be honest, it sounds like there's a pretty good chance he's going to get pulled for the violations. I'm not sure why he isn't allowed at your work, but if his crime had something to do with your work, he very likely will have to go back to serve. If he does get to stay out I would have him do EVERYTHIN the PO says to do and NOT doing what he knows he's not suppose to do for any reason at all.. I'll pray that they show him mercy.
deleted_user
I will think postive for the situation you are facing. I honestly think there is going to be a repercution of what just happened. If part of his probation is to what you have stated here. There is a possible chance he will be taken back. His P.O. will get a called that he has been jailed. You could possibly contact his P.O. yourself and let that person know what just happened. If he had been let off prior to a bad U.A. and you think he might have some sort of illegal possession on him, it to me only looks like a dangerous situation that was brought about by himself. I know he will sit there till he gets his violation hearing unless his P.O. does something different. It can not be strongly expressed that when on probation you must follow all the rules to a tee. It is no different than being jailed but you have your freedom. I hope his situation does not put him back for your sake but if he is given a second chance at this he will need to do what is needed to be done in order to stay away from the reality of going back to jail.
KristiKat
Update. First and foremost, thanks to all for the supportive words. I knew the situation was/is bleak, but I want to remain as hopeful as I can. Here is where we stand at the moment The cops ran him in the system, and it turns out he had a warrant from yet another charge. He was able to pay for that ($100 OUCH) and they released him. He must report to his PO first thing Monday and we will see what happens from there. I am thankful at least that they released him and I will at least have this weekend with him if nothing else. It was a horrible thought that he might go away and I didnt have the chance to at least hug and hold him one last time. When he got arrested the first time, I was mad at him at the time and didnt even kiss him good-bye when I left for work for work that day. Then he got arrested and I wasnt able to touch or kiss him for that whole time that he was in jail. I know, silly, but I SO regretted that. So, for now, I have him home, and we will take it day by day until we learn his fate on Monday. Again, thanks to all for the support it is so greatly appreciated. It is amazing to know that there are people out there who actually know and understand what I am going thru! Blessings to all! Kristi
deleted_user
Kristi-I am so glad that at least you have a couple of days with him before you find out if it's as bleak as it seems. Hope you have a great weekend.
jody0385
That's great that they released him. Honestly if at all possible he should see if there is an NA meeting this weekend, and start that process so that when he does go in he can say he's starting the steps that the PO wants him to do. It will just look good for him if he does do that. I know it'll take time out of the weekend that he could be with you right there, but he should at least look like he's trying to follow the requests of the PO. If he does nothing then there won't be any defense to him staying out... If that makes sense. I can tell you the judge asked my guy if he had initiated any AA meetings and when he answered no the judge said that he just isn't showing any effort. So it's worth a shot to keep him out and home with you.. I'll keep praying for you guys.
deleted_user
I agree. Get to a meeting. You can go with him. In fact I would try to find one for each day of the weekend. Don't let him use. That would only make things worse!
deleted_user
Thats great he was released. hopefully his PO will not be too hard on him on monday. try and convince him to go to a meeting so he can get clean and stay clean.
deleted_user
I am so glad to hear that he is back home. I am with Jody and Waiting. I think you both should try and locate a meeting and go. I would try and hit two for both days. Like the both of them said at least he is showing the effort of doing what needs to be done. Good luck on Monday.
deleted_user
Make sure he gets a paper signed saying he went.
deleted_user
I am so sorry for your troubles. Ironically, on the side of this is a picture of a darn cop, advertising going to school to be one. All of love seeing that, if you have the same stuff on yours. That is just wrong.
Join the Conversation