Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
I was writing my man in jail and I started balling. I couldn't stop. Just the memories about us. It feels like this is going to last forever. I was on facebook last night just looking at his pictures of him and his family. Past posts. All the way from when we started talking again three years ago. We used to spend hours online just talking. All the way into the wee morning hours. We'd text back and forth till one of us fell asleep. He stayed at my house after a while. So many memories of things we've done together that plague my mind. I feel like he died. Having no contact with him just makes it more devastating. I know I just have to wait for him to write or call but the waiting is killing me. It hurts write him and remember everything. It makes me angy and then sad. it makes me worry. I go through so many emotions. I still go to my mailbox looking for a letter even though he said he couldn't write till this thursday. I'm not patient. Its not part of me. He is my best friend, My lover, my world. Its not sunny for me when he's locked in there. I cannot enjoy anything without him... My tears are my only company. I just need him so much right now.
I once was surprised by a comment the head guard at the prison said. It was a woman guard, who my guy said was a real B...ch. She was very compassionate to me, which shocked me She said that it is like a death, because we have lost every normal part of him, and our life. You mentioned it was like he died, so I remembered that.
I found it encouraging that this woman, a Sergeant of the guards was that intuitive since they sure don't act like they know that
It is like a death of the life you had. BUT if you once start talking on the phone more, and visiting him where you can touch, it will get better Not the same of course, but the human contact is necessary
I studied Criminal Justice for a year, mostly to understand how they operate. They did state that visits are an integral part of the rehabilitative process. Without it, they don't succeed when out. Yet they seem to do everything in their power to alienate us from each other. The justice system is a plethora of inconsistent statements and rules.
I am going to keep coming on here, to see how you are doing, and others. You may not think so now, but I think in a month or so, you will sound better. Sometimes you already have.
Just know, even when you start feeling better, there will still be days you are sad. Of course there will be, you love him.
I have watched many women come on here so distraught, and within a short time, they are sounding better. Only one has vanished from here that I really worried about. Nothing we said to her helped. I have no way of knowing how she is. BUT there are several that were just as sad and down as you are, and in a short time, they were helping others get through it, and being alot more chipper. I hope that happens to you soon.
I am still on here, like a mama bear, watching out for her cubs. I figure the YEARS of experience with this stuff should help someone.