Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
We all know there are a million places in the world to find judgment and criticism about our situations. Lord knows I've heard plenty as we all have. The criticisms that hit me the hardest are the one's concerning my daughters and sometimes I can't help but wonder if they are right...so...I'm opening this up to the floor for discussion.
Sometimes as we are waiting to go in I watch my girls and wonder if I'm doing what is best for them. I love my man and have no desire to leave him whatsoever. He isn't their biological father, although he is dad in every single way. They call him dad and hope he can adopt them when he gets out. What I hope is that this experience is teaching them compassion, empathy, commitment, and endurance. I want them to see that even though our marriage is not easy we don't give up. That even people who mess up and who are extremely difficult to love are worth the effort and that no one is expendable. This is what I am hoping I am teaching them.
On the other hand they deserve stability and a family where cops never show up at the door and they never have to see the inside of a jail or prison. At times I feel guilty about failing to give them this type of home.
They don't complain. They look forward to our visits and always fight over who gets to talk to daddy first. I see his relationship with his daughters improving and this gives me a lot of hope for our future when he returns home. I feel the positives outweigh the negatives. Love is also blind.
This isn't a question of leaving or not leaving. I'm not leaving. It's a question of what are they learning from this? What are the repercussions? Thoughts?
Sometimes as we are waiting to go in I watch my girls and wonder if I'm doing what is best for them. I love my man and have no desire to leave him whatsoever. He isn't their biological father, although he is dad in every single way. They call him dad and hope he can adopt them when he gets out. What I hope is that this experience is teaching them compassion, empathy, commitment, and endurance. I want them to see that even though our marriage is not easy we don't give up. That even people who mess up and who are extremely difficult to love are worth the effort and that no one is expendable. This is what I am hoping I am teaching them.
On the other hand they deserve stability and a family where cops never show up at the door and they never have to see the inside of a jail or prison. At times I feel guilty about failing to give them this type of home.
They don't complain. They look forward to our visits and always fight over who gets to talk to daddy first. I see his relationship with his daughters improving and this gives me a lot of hope for our future when he returns home. I feel the positives outweigh the negatives. Love is also blind.
This isn't a question of leaving or not leaving. I'm not leaving. It's a question of what are they learning from this? What are the repercussions? Thoughts?
Blessings to you all!
I think they are learning from you compassion, understanding, and you have to help those who you love even in dire situations.
Is it detrimental to them? No.... my granddaughter was 8 months when her daddy went to prison for 4 years. He still was in contact with her even as a baby. He called and she heard his voice on the phone. She kissed his picture til she wore his face off. I got to be the one who brought her to him the day he got out. She was not timid at all. She had no qualms about rushing out of the car and into his arms. And they are very close now.
Kids don't see things like the older world does. They see Daddy. That's all. Kids learn to have their families in all different forms. For now it may be seeing him in prison. But they will adore that time with him regardless.
Some people may say bad things about him, but the kids will always just love him for who he was to them. I saw this clearly with my granddaughter how she loves her daddy and my fiance who was her surrogate dad while my son was gone. Now my fiance is in prison, and she loves talking to him on the phone and visiting him. They learn that this is just part of their life for now.