You got involved with a man old enough to retire when you were what, 22 or 23?

Now you've been sitting at home waiting on him for 2 1/2 years and wonder if you should wait another 5-6 years. I believe you were to too young to have gotten into a relationship with someone twice your age. You seem like someone on track to waste your entire life. Is there any guarantee that your husband won't be one of the high percentage of ex-cons who re-offend, that he won't have been changed by prison or that he won't end up just leaving you for a little freedom or for an even younger woman?

Best case scenario is he gets out of prison just in time for you to begin providing geriatric care to an old man.

Is there any particular reason you are intent on stacking all the cards against yourself at such a young age?

Yikes! I usually don't comment like I'm about to, but I have to wonder why like gutted said, that's a HUGE age difference :O I can see 10-15 but 30 :O What could y'all have possible had in common besides sex? Again I'm not a Negative Nancy about relationships, especially being in an "abnormal one myself (it's really not just by society's standards it is).

When you first met and started dating did you not ask the big question of ,"isn't he too old for me?" And, "how many more years will I have with him?" And another big one, "Will he be around to see our kid(s) even graduate from high school?" And I could go on and on but I'll stop. I have a 22 year old son and I'd be asking him the same questions if this was him, so please don't think I'm bashing you! Sorry it's that mom thing in me.

So now back to your question, though my fiance and I aren't married yet I don't even think of leaving him. Trust and believe I could because he, well we, have another 8-10 to go; however when that day comes we'll be 50 respectfully. Meaning we've seen the world and sowed our wild oats so to speak. Whereas you're still just starting your life. Are you in college? Gosh there are so many things you should be doing than doing what you're doing now. And please please don't take this the wrong way but with him being that old he shouldn't have wanted to marry you so quick. Was he already in when you met him? If not how far in the relationship did you know he was going in?
And what about your families? Were they ok with this? I'm sorry so many questions I'm just trying to better understand your story.

With that being said I think you need to dig deep and figure out what you want to do with your life besides being depressed and wondering the what ifs of life. We only get one life with no do overs! There's a world out there waiting for you to explore it! And no I'm NOT saying to leave him, just really think about your future.

Ok i get what you guys are saying but why the hang up on age? Its just a number! And yes theres about 10 years between me and mine.
I think most of us think of this at some stage or another then we think of all the good parts of our relationship and know that they are worth waiting for. Have you talked to him about it?

I'm not hung up on age. Hubbie is 7 years younger than me. I'm worried about a 25-year-old woman putting her life on hold for man who's not only incarcerated but will be well past the age most American's retire before he's out of prison (assuming he can behave himself and does not get extra time added). Saying 'what's the hang up on age' is that knee jerk reaction people have to situations like this without really thinking it through. The OP must already being asking herself some of the same questions that came to my mind or she wouldn't have asked the question about waiting for him.

For example, it's logical to expect that she will end up facing some serious issues once he is discharged it's reasonable for her to want to think clearly about what she's doing right now.

-Some facts about having a normal sex life with a man in his 60's. Facts, anyone can google.
....Erections become iffy.
....Premature ejaculation (PE) may return.
....Intercourse fades from the sexual menu.
....Surprisingly few older men use erection drugs.
....Older men are often on medications that affect their mood and sex drive.

-Natural health issues of people in that age group, such as dementia/natural forgetfulness, heart disease, knee and joint pain/arthritis.

-Post Incarceration Syndrome (PICS), which is a lot to deal with and one the single most contributing factors to re-incarceration.

She asked for our opinion and I'm just going to say that I believe the deck is stacked against them living happily ever after. I don't know if this is his first stint in prison or his 2nd or 3rd, so that's another issue to take into consideration.

Is it in her best interest to give up the best years of her life sitting all alone and waiting for him only to likely end up struggling with one or more of the above issues when he is eventually released? Only Post the OP can answer that question. She only has one life to live and is obligated to herself before anyone else. Age may be just a number, but it's one number working against her right now.

SL like gutted said I'm totally not hung up on age. As you know I had baby at 38 and if you ask most folks they felt that was too old! However this young lady is married to a man old enough to be her father, heck almost grandfather, which Is kind of scary/creepy IMHO. He's already explored the world/had other relationships and/or marriage(s) and if he has kid(s) they're probably around her age or older. And usually fathers are super overprotective of their daughters and wouldn't be 100% happy with this scenario; like if he has a daughter(s) he'd probably be absolutely livid/out of his mind.

It's just a lot of things to be put on her plate at her age IMHO.

Right staying out of this.obviously my opinion is wrong. I always have said this group wasn't judgmental hmmm wrong again.

Sorry, I did get a little judgy there. Thanks for keeping us clean Suchaslife. Sometimes I feel a little like a battle bot when I'm going at something like this. It's not a helpful approach for me to take.

Me and my husband have been together for 5 years. This isn't someone I'm just dating for fun, but someone I love and actually want to be with. Yes he's 30 years older than me, but that's not the point. I was only asking about how being apart from someone you love for so long can make you start to feel lonely :(

I just recently divorced my husband of 11 years. He has been incarcerated for 5 years. He has a long sentence. I decided I couldn't do it any longer. There are lots of reasons like trust, honesty, loneliness. It's not easy. You have to think about yourself as life will be so different when he gets out. Some people can do it but a lot can't. It takes a lot to be a spouse of someone incarcerated. Lots to deal with emotionally and financial and so much more.

My son has been incarcerated for 15 years. He goes into a halfway house in June. I really think he has a bad case of PICS. He is wanting to annul his marriage now and date his wife!!!???!! His behavior is totally irrational. He wants to put me in the middle of this and use me as a go between. They got married by proxy last March, which was not an easy thing to do. Please give me some opinions about this. He has ruined my holiday more than it already has been since I am a widow. Do you think he is worried that he can't cut the mustard when he gets his freedom? Is he institutionalized or what?? I want to help him, but this is heart wrenching, to say the least. He thinks I should help him with this because he is my son...

Every individual at one point or anther realizes when enough is enough. I have been thru a lot with my husband as well. I waited for him for 5 years while he was in prison/work release. Some thoughts i was crazy wasting my life and waiting. You just need to go with your gut and your heart. No one can tell you what to do or not to do. I am not even thinking about age difference here... in general we love who we love, and the only person who can change anything about our situation is only us.

My husband been out of prison, jail and work release now for almost three yrs. I waited for him... I had faith and trusted him, his stuff was drugs and he did stupid shit when he was high on them. I am grateful he has been clean almost 8 years now. We bought a house three months ago, both working full-time and living the almost dream life we dreamed about. Besides that well we still want to have at least one child, maybe two if twins. He has 16 yrs old daughter that they got back in touch with and for the first time since she was a baby he is going to meet her in few weeks and so will I. Life is good now.

It took a lot of support from my friends and family. I was always out and about when he was in prison .. i didnt stay home i still went out and did me and enjoyed my life, my life didnt stop because of his choices..

I just recommend you to enjoy your life, if something better comes alone grab it if not you can wait, if u love him u can wait, if u dont know how you feel about him any more then u got your answer. Life is not easy, but you also have to think about your life as well.