That's really rough and unfair. Seem the PO did her share of mistakes and yet she gets him in trouble. It is anyone's guess what amount of time they will give him. Depends on the PO and the judge.

Mine got a probation violation for something really stupid and not a huge deal. He was not doing anything bad, but his PO was a jerk and slammed him with 2 years. Other people I know have only gotten a few weeks or months.

Mine has been in several times, but we are much older than you are. I would write to the judge. They say sometimes that helps. Explain it was you that got the dates mixed up, and explain about moving, etc. It couldn't hurt. It may lessen his time.

I have lost jobs a lot just this year and in the last few years. Always when he is in jail, which makes everything so much worse. You are depressed that they are gone, you would have their income if they weren't in, you have so many things to deal with.

I have moved 3 times by myself. Had to beg for help from people, even my elderly neighbor with a bad leg helped me. I cried alot, got mad at the system, and sometimes at him. But not this time.

This time mine hadn't seen in son in 20 years. He got a call to go meet him. It was a weekend. Where we live the PO doesn't answer her phone on weekends and there is no one else to get a hold of for a travel permit. He got stopped because someone that didn't like him ( son's half sister) turned him in that he was out of state without a permit and no drivers license. She told them the make, model, year and color of our car, she told the cops what road he would be taking and where he was headed to. She made sure her brother thought his dad he just finally met was this low life scum her mom had portrayed him as all his life.

The PO did not go easy on him at all. BUT there are PO's out there that are decent, and hopefully your husband will get off easy.

Seriously, find out who the judge is and write to him or her everything you said on here. He may have a heart. May give him community service instead of jail time.

Whenever he gets to come home he HAS TO keep in touch with his PO all the time. Tell him to call her when he is going to sneeze. These people like to think they are god.

You having a child could be a blessing in many ways. The social service department in your county should be able to find you a place to live, and it may not cost you much, if anything. Second, you can get free daycare if you find a job. There are some agencies, through the counties that work with mom's to help find them jobs. Contact the Salvation Army for all kinds of help, Lutheran Social Services, Catholic Charities, First Call for Help. They will either help you financially, find a home, some even help get cars for people to get a job. You can get food, medical, and so much more than those of us that have no children living with us.

This is something you should check on write away. Get on the phone, call these places, go to the county social services office.

Go to a church nearby, whether you go to it or not. They help people, they put them up in motels, or give them gas money, and a lot more. I think this is done all over the US.

Sure he will be having a hard time with this, but he will get through it. And so will you. He will be happy if you find help. That will make him feel better.

In the letter to the judge, make sure you tell him or her how good he has done the last two years. List his accomplishments how he has turned his life around and unfortunately this was just a series of mistakes on yours, his and the PO's fault.

Who is helping take care of your son now? Be glad you have that help.

I don't know what you qualify for, but there are jobs that you go into senior citizen's homes and clean, cook, do laundry, errands, maybe help them bathe, etc. You make ok money and you can set your hours to what you need. Some may even eventually let you take your son with them, if you are just a companion. I have done all of that.

Explain in the letter to the judge how you messed up, but it was not intentional, and how the PO would not answer your calls. This should get his attention.

I know how hard it is waiting for them to call after they first get arrested. You feel so hopeless and lost and scared. Been there, done that many times with my fiance AND my son too. You will get through it. First you will cry alot. Then you will learn to pull it together.

Get busy with what I told you to do, to help yourself, and to help him. Keeping busy with positive things will help all of you.

Dear girl, I feel for you. I have been involved with my guy 15 years and he has been in prison at least 4 times. Lost track. Son was in prison for 4 years, and in jail a couple times. I know the emotions you go through. We all do on here. People on here understand more than friends or family that have never went through it.

Vent, ask questions, tell us anything you want. We will answer.

Funny thing is you make really good friends on here. You may never meet any of them, but in some ways you become closer to them, than people you have known for many years. We have a kinship, a bond because we are all hurting, we have all been through so much.

There are many people on here your age, going through taking care of their kids themselves, losing jobs, having to move etc. Talk to them. Bamboosnipes really had it rough. She ended up homeless, had a baby alone, and now is doing awesome. She even had her doubts if she wanted her husband in her life anymore. But sounds like she is really doing good now. Her baby is now 9 months old. We all went through her pregnancy and troubles with her, on here anyway.

Yes you will be depressed for awhile. Goes with the territory. BUT you can bring yourself out of it, little by little by doing positive things not just to keep busy but to help your situation. And your husband will feel better and be so proud of you.

You tell him that this was just a mistake on many people's parts, and he is not to feel guilty any longer.

Here is another idea, if talking to the judge with a letter don't work. Find out who the PO's supervisor is. Delicately talk to him or her on the phone and explain how the PO handled this. This has to be done on the phone so you can gauge the Supervisor's tone of voice how they are taking what you are saying. Then you will know how much to say and how to say it. You have to be careful, but sometimes they don't even know how their employee, the PO is doing their job. We actually went to a supervisor of one of his PO's. We had a meeting with the supervisor, us and the PO. And the supervisor actually sided a bit with us, and changed his PO to someone else. I can't guarantee how it will go for you, but it may be something to think about.

Also, check up on the laws of which they are violating him on. Seems that with a violation of probation it is really hard to find the guidelines of what they can do to them. BUT there are some laws that at times they violate against our guys because they think we don't know what they can and can't do.

I took Criminal Justice classes to KNOW these things. And sometimes it has come in handy. Not always.

IF he gets sent to prison, and I am not sure he will, then we should talk more. There are legal responsibilities the prison's have for taking care of our loved ones. They have responsibilities for medical care, etc. It is in the constitution. I used those and he now really gets taken care of well.

You need to know how to play their game. First off, they read our letters we send them. They listen in randomly to our calls. SO in my letters, I would purposely write things that I wanted them to know that I KNEW... That way I get the point across to them they can't treat him certain ways and they have to give him adequate medical care, or they can be in trouble too.

Mine had medical issues several times, such as a heart attack. They did not do the proper things to make sure he was ok. So in my letter I wrote about that and HOW we could sue. You cannot legally sue a prison, but you can sue the people directly responsible for decisions to how they are taken care of. Because they are incarcerated they can not get their own proper medical care so it is the obligation of that prison to make sure they get the care they need, or they can have real problems. Mine now gets sent right to a local clinic or hospital, not the prison infirmary.

I have also made calls to the Warden's office when they were taking way too long to approve my visits. The deputy warden got my call and the next day I was approved. I stated laws and facts that they couldn't argue with.

My only concern about your husband is that you moved and did not notify them a few days before the move. I think they have to notify the PO a certain amount of time before they do it. They could get him on that too. Any change in address, jobs, whatever they have to tell them. That is in their probation papers usually. So be wary of this when he gets out. Do EVERYTHING those papers say he has to do.

In the letter to the judge, also suggest because this is such a hardship for you, and your baby that he could possibly be on an electronic monitoring system, or ankle bracelet. Mine was on that. he still got to go to work, and had some time for dr appointments and even shopping.

I know you are worried about him because of how he freaked out the last time. BUT if you tell him these things, tell him the ideas of how you can get help and maybe even help him, he will (A) not be so worried about you and your son, and (B) maybe feel a bit more hopeful. Think so???

Let me know what you think.

Lastly for now, if he gets out of this with not much or any jail time, you tell him he has to fear these people in a way that he will just do WHATEVER they say he has to. Don't miss one call, one appointment ever. Tell him to prove them wrong. That he is not just some " bad" person or convict. Tell him to get a job, work hard, impress them. That will work miracles.

BUT on a down note for a minute, you have to remember this too. Don't expect that the judge or PO will necessarily have a heart. I think they were born without them sometimes. BUT there are cases where the letter helps, and even a letter from him to the judge. A letter stating how sorry he is that he screwed up and it was not intentional, then he was scared too.

Pour it on thick about your baby and how you need him to help you raise him and support him. And what a good daddy he is. Lay it on thick and hope this person admires young people that are good parents. We know there are many that are not.

Sound like two hard working, responsible people and parents. That you both just messed up.

I hope some of this helps.