Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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cmorton557 09/25/2013

I made calls to the Correctional Facility today. They wouldn't really tell me much but they did say that he is doing ok. I don't believe them. Anyone can say someone is ok but are they really? She told me he was provided items and would need to buy commisary to write me. Are you kidding me?@ I've written three letters now. She says that it takes time for them to monitor the letters so he probably hasn't received any of them yet. I set up a calling account so he can call me collect. I added funds but no one will tell him he can call me. No one will tell him that he has money. No one will do anything! I wrote it all to him in my letter but according to them it's going to be a a little bit before he even gets any of my letters! GGGRRRRR... I want to scream and beat something badly. I am frustrated! I called the trust fund and they told me the money was posted and he hasn't used any of it. I can't handle much more of this. I need to be able to visit him. I need to hear back from him. I need to have some sort of contact with him! But how is that going to happen if he has no idea that I'm helping him? They won't allow me to visit because I'm just the gf. He promised to write me and I have no patience. I'm scared.. and hurt.. I'm sad and completely overwhelmed... His court date isn't till October and I really don't think I can manage until then to find out if he's really ok. In a court room of all places I don't want to be talking out of turn. what am I going to do?

brandnewangel 09/25/2013

I would keep writing letters saying I added money to your account ect.. that what I did and it finally worked took about a week or two to get his first call and during that time the worse thoughts race through my mind like does he want me,ect.... but they won't tell him due to "security" reasons and might not have paper or pen,stamps ect.. to write back :(

Suchaslife 09/25/2013

I would do what brandnew said it takes a bit of time to process there mail when they first get into the system.
Hmmmm can you get his pd to give him a message from you just to let him know that he has money there so he can write or call you and that you have sent him letters??
Just a thought.
We all have those thoughts when they first go in its normal.

cmorton557 09/25/2013

no one will help me. I'm not family. I'm just the gf. I have no privilige to information like his so called family. those that leave him there to rot. yea. that's family.... I'm going to keep writing him but I'm running on hot steam... i'm really ready to explode with all this... I don't think I can send him pens but I've been sending him envelopes and paper each time I write to him in case he doesn't have any. Can I send pens? If so, I totally will...

Suchaslife 09/25/2013

Hmmmm aske him in one of your letters if his wants to make you his poa that way you can get the info better and they have to tell you stuff.
Yes its really hard to get info out of them it totally makes my head hurt.

deleted_user 09/25/2013

They don't like it when you send him envelopes or paper for some stupid reason so he may not of gotten you letters because of it. You have to be very careful on what you write and what you send. I would try to get a hold of his pd. Don't give up hope! He will eventually call. Write him again and this time don't send anything with it just your letter. Also, make sure you put your full name on the return address and don't draw anything on the letter or envelope. Also, call the place back and ask what you can and can't send.

Suchaslife 09/25/2013

Iam not aloud to send him paper or pens or envelopes....they get sent back if I do that......they say it for the safety of the place but in the real world it means they miss out on makeing money out of our guys.
Yes always check what you can send in...when you call to find out don't aske about him just aske what you can and can't send in.
Personal I wouldn't put my full name and addresson anything apart from money orders its been know to happen that other prisoners can get that info and eather use it to get at you or rock up on your door step. I don't mean to scare you but I do know of tow lady's who are getting harassed because they put that info on there letter.

ihatewisconsin 09/25/2013

Hey, here's an idea. Send a darn postcard. Short and sweet, saying I sent money, I set up a phone account, now you can write and call SOON. That way they can't say it took them awhile to read a letter. A postcard would be super fast to read and get to him. Then add a PS that says you sent more letters. Then if he hasn't gotten them, he can inquire why not.

You have to learn to outsmart their stupid ways. I HAVE YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IN THIS!!

cmorton557 09/25/2013

Thanks for the tip... I didn't know if I could send paper and a couple envelopes... I just didn't see the harm in it though... I guess we'll find out if the letters get sent back... i'll just send a quick post card as suggested tomorrow... That's a good idea! Thanks so much for the tips...

ihatewisconsin 09/25/2013

I remembered this but asked my guy. They do get told weekly what they have on their accounts. He would have been notified that you put money on his account.

In our state it only took four days for him to be allowed to call me. Again, it can be different in every state, but he has been in two different states, and its pretty standard that they are told weekly how much money they have. They are given a receipt type slip itemizing deposits to his account and what he has spent, if anything at all. I remember he sent me one to see once.

ihatewisconsin 09/25/2013

Most prisons you can not send them anything except subscriptions to magazines and catalogs that are sent from the company. They have to purchase their own paper, stamps, envelopes etc. It allows the prison to make more money off of us.

ThoughtAsWeak 09/25/2013

In CA, I can send paper, stamps, envelopes and a pen. In fact
That's better, otherwise he gets robbed after
Commissary when he buys that stuff. If we send him writing supplies, they don't get stolen. However, when he was in county, I couldn't send that stuff either. Only send books from publisher and put money on phone & his trust account.

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