Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
I along with my family are struggling with the thought of my son being encarcerated. We don't know at this point how long. My soul is crushed. I only shared this with one safe person. Need support and strength. Thank you.
Iam sorry you are going through this but this place is a good place everyone here gets it and know what it's like. Hang in there talk to us when ever you want someone is always here.
My son was in for 4 years. I thought like you it was the end of the world. I would cry at home, cry when he called, and cry at visits. But he told me It's ok mama, I am where I am supposed to be. If I hadn't been arrested I would of done worse, or maybe ended up dead or killing someone, so this is ok. I will get through this. And he did. And he became the most wonderful person. He quit all the stuff he was doing, he has 3 kids of his own, takes care of 2 of his gf's kid's too and has one more on the way. He became a Mr Mom and homebody. He loves being with his kids now. He says they are his reason to stay out of trouble. He does so much with them. He loves working on his home too. Prison did teach him NOT to want that other life again. Not all of them succeed this way but I am so proud that he did.
It will irritate you how he is treated at times. You will try to fight them. It is a losing battle for the most part. All of us fight the injustices of the correctional and justice systems, but they never let us win. So don't beat yourself up trying.
There are certain things they do wrong, and those sometimes can be handled. Through diligent finding out as much as you can about the justice system and what they can and can't do. Such as they are legally obligated to give them adequate medical care. If they don't, it's against the Constitution. I merely wrote that statute in a letter to my fiance, who is now in prison, and knowing that they read their letters before they give them to them, I wrote down what we can do if they don't give them proper health care when needed. It worked, he got taken to a regular hospital for tests, not the prison doctor. He now gets any health issues he has addressed immediately.
With us mom's, we want to fix everything. It's in our blood, for our kids and others we love. We can't fix everything when they are in prison, they won't let us.
The best thing you can do is love him, support him, write to him, go see him if possible and accept his calls. Keep him feeling like he is still part of the family. Send him pictures of anything and everything that will make him feel close to you all still.
And you will have people in your life that will be very negative to you about him. Stand up to them, and then wipe them out of your life if they can't be supportive.