Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
My boyfriend was sentenced to 11 months and 29 days in jail. This happened last Thursday. This is his first offense and his first time in jail. We really thought he would get probation. We weren't prepared for this. We had a stupid fight the night before. I had to work so I couldn't go to court with him. Due to my job I really couldn't be involved in the court case. I woke up early that morning and said goodbye to him. I hugged and kissed him and told him I would come home from work when he was done later that day. We talked on the phone around 11:00 am and he said he was scared. I told him everything was going to be okay. I really thought he was getting probation. I was wrong. I didn't get to say goodbye. I got a call from his mom about an hour later and I lost it.
No one at work knows he is in jail. People know a little bit about the story. I was sort of told by my boss in March that because of my job I really shouldn't be with him. I love him and there was no way I could break up with him. So we kept our relationship a secret. A few people at my work know about us. It's not on Facebook. My whole family, my best friend, and everyone who doesn't work with me knows I am still dating him and that I am in love with him. Only my mom and my best friend knows he is in jail. My mom lives 18 hours away and my best friend has a crazy work schedule. I feel completely alone.
His mom has been great, but it just hurts talking to her. He has a son who is 3. I love his son so much and his son loves me. I want to spend time with his son but it hurts me and just makes his son ask where his daddy is. So pretty much I have been sitting in my apartment. We lived together so being here is really tough. I've talked to him on the phone a couple times a day and yesterday we got to video chat. It was good to see his face, but now it just makes me miss him more. Something is going on with him and he may be transfered to a different facility so I haven't been able to talk to him today. I tried to go to work today, but only lasted 3 hours.
I can't help but cry. I feel incredibly alone. I moved to this state without knowing anyone. I have some friends, but all of my good friends and family live out of state. I have no one to talk to and even if I did talk to them, none of them have experienced anything like this. I don't know what to do. I can't sleep. I am not eating becasue I can't keep anything down. I am too worried about him to do anything. I try to take my mind off of him but I can't.
Does anyone have any advice for me? I would appreciate anything!
You keep saying because of your job you shouldn't be dating him? Well if I were you I'd tell the boss before it comes from other sources than you. I'm sure you know things always have a way of showing up before you least expect it.
Also phone calls/video chats are great but also very costly so as I always tell people there's nothing like good old writing letters. For the remainder of his time set a budget for those calls/chats or you'll go in debt real fast.
It's only a year and it'll be over faster than you think! Just tell him keep his nose clean no matter what and he'll be fine.