Families of Prisoners Support Group

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brother self surrendered

stacyanne1975
stacyanne1975
my brother self surrendered March 2,2012 to begin a 27 month sentence. reading some of the other entries this may seem like a small amount of time but it feels like a lifetime to me. he is in for mortgage related charges. i had problems with drugs in the past and we went for 3 yrs without speaking because he couldn't watch me self-destruct. i went on to get clean and get my life together. we were reunited when i had googled his name and so he had been indicted. we rebuilt our relation quickly and stronger than it was for 11 months. than it was time to self surrender. i feel like the feds stole him from me. i lost him for 3 years due to my addiction and than i get him back and now he is gone. i am heartbroken and sad all the time. how do you find the strength to be the rock i know i need to be for him?? i am new to this and was just looking for some support and want to help anyone i can too. thanks
deleted_user
deleted_user
it sounds like a cruel joke to have a reunion with your brother to only have him torned away from you. i'm so sorry. i know how difficult this is! stay strong. everyday will be a struggle, but everyday is a day closer to having our love ones home.
stacyanne1975
stacyanne1975
thank you! it really does feel like a cruel joke.
Suchaslife
Suchaslife
I know it seams like a lot now but it will go fast. Keep talking to him eather by phone email if he is aloud to use it and letters all that will help the both of you.
You will have good days and bad days but just rember we are all hear for you and will help as much as we can. It sucks that this has happened to you guys just think as each day ends its a day closer to him comeing home.
Huggggggsss and strangth
Sneshinka
Sneshinka
I am here for u as well if u ever need a friend
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband also self-surrendered for a 27 month federal sentence. It doesn't seem like a lot to some, but it's a long time. I can relate because my husband did his crimes while using methamphetamine and got clean and sober during the year process for his case to come to his plea bargain. I was ready to divorce him when he was arrested, but our relationship changed once he was working a program. It does seem like a cruel joke when someone's life changes for the better and once again they are knocked down by the system. i don't understand why he needed to be clean and sober on the outside just to be taken away from his support system (through anonymous programs and his family.) In any case, I am here for you if you need me. Stay in touch with him. If its mortgage related he's probably serving fed time and the emails make it so much easier.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband also self-surrendered for a 27 month federal sentence. It doesn't seem like a lot to some, but it's a long time. I can relate because my husband did his crimes while using methamphetamine and got clean and sober during the year process for his case to come to his plea bargain. I was ready to divorce him when he was arrested, but our relationship changed once he was working a program. It does seem like a cruel joke when someone's life changes for the better and once again they are knocked down by the system. i don't understand why he needed to be clean and sober on the outside just to be taken away from his support system (through anonymous programs and his family.) In any case, I am here for you if you need me. Stay in touch with him. If its mortgage related he's probably serving fed time and the emails make it so much easier.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband also self-surrendered for a 27 month federal sentence. It doesn't seem like a lot to some, but it's a long time. I can relate because my husband did his crimes while using methamphetamine and got clean and sober during the year process for his case to come to his plea bargain. I was ready to divorce him when he was arrested, but our relationship changed once he was working a program. It does seem like a cruel joke when someone's life changes for the better and once again they are knocked down by the system. i don't understand why he needed to be clean and sober on the outside just to be taken away from his support system (through anonymous programs and his family.) In any case, I am here for you if you need me. Stay in touch with him. If its mortgage related he's probably serving fed time and the emails make it so much easier.
ihatewisconsin
ihatewisconsin
Coming onto this site truly helped so much. People on the outside don't understand and can be so cruel.

You talk to him when you can, you write, send him pictures of what's going on out there, Send him magazine subscriptions.

As far as what you do, you will feel good helping him. And you keep busy. Be with friends, sew, read, join something, Be with people who make you laugh. It also gives you something to talk about with him.

I took college classes online when my son and fiance first went in a few years ago. Son is out now, fiance is BACK in again, but I just got my degree. I had to do something positive for myself. I am now going for my bachelor's degree, in of all things Criminal Justice. My associates was in Business Administration.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can relate to feeling like your brother has been taken away from you, especially in a time when you have an opportunity to build a good relationship with him. My brother was locked up in and out almost all of his teenage years (he's 24 now and has been out for about a year). It is incredibly hard to not miss him when he's gone, but like everyone said, writing, talking and visiting all helped tremendously. I truly feel that you are not missing out on anything other than physically seeing him (well, maybe not even that if you can visit!). You have just as much of an opportunity as before to build a solid relationship with him, it's just going to require a lot of effort on your end. Look at it like an opportunity to help him. ANY contact helps, i promise. A simple letter letting him know you're thinking about him and love him can make a world of difference. My brother would tell me all the time how happy he was to hear from people just to be reminded that he hasn't been forgotten and there are still people "on the outside" that care about him. It's easy to forget that in a place like prison or jail, so any little thing you do goes a very long way. Please keep reminding yourself of that because you should be proud of yourself for making the effort and really building your relationship. Hopefully, waiting for letters back n forth too will make the time go by a little faster. I'm here to talk if u need me anytime!!!