Families of Prisoners Support Group
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So is writing an angry letter to your beloved an acceptable thing to do. He's been in a grumpy mood they changed his meds...I think that's part of it...but tonight he threw something hateful from the past in my face and it really hurt. Something he promised me was over and he'd never bring up again...in a moment of feeling a little insecure he used it as a weapon. So when we got off the phone I wrote an angry letter . but now I don't know if I should send it.......
prison does put them under stress.....not the same that we deal with but its still a stressful place to be.
I have sent him some that were not angry, just stating my opinion on a matter I felt he was really out of line about or wrong. Those have helped sometimes. It's all in how you say it. But for now, see where this goes. Don't send it yet.
I am sitting here debating on whether I tell him what happened tonight, when he calls in the morning. Whether he will take it ok, or freak out and blame me, or be really bummed. We are 3 months away from his release, his mind is racing with ideas what he wants us to do when he gets out. I don't want to wreck it. BUT>>>>>>
I sort of wrecked the car a bit tonight. I hit a DEER. Damn thing. Didn't actually hurt the body of the car too bad. Cracked the bumper pretty good. But when I slammed on the brakes, and skidded, and bumped into the damn thing, I did something to the brakes. I couldn't stop after I had started to drive. Brakes were down to the floor. Barely got it stopped, so had to call a tow truck. Longer complete story on my journal.
But the point of this is, do I tell him in the morning on our call? Wreck his day, tell him the damage, and the expense? Or do I say nothing, or sugar coat it and only tell him parts of it?
They do get so nuts in there. And they get frustrated because when we have problems, they could of helped us, or the problem wouldn't of happened at all if they were with us, not in there.
He is a mechanic, so some car situations he could of just fixed the car, and it wouldn't cost much. But now, I have to pay for parts, and pay a person to fix it. So he will act mad at me, but it's really himself he is mad at for being there.
That is why I explained this to you. Whether he said something bad, and not fair, is not the issue right now. The issue is do you just let it slide for now, and consider that something else is happening with him, or it's his med's, or he is angry at himself for being there? Deciding this is the hardest part, since sometimes they won't tell you what is going on. But if you send that letter, and before you even get a chance to talk to him calmly about what happened, or whatever, he could start acting nice again, with no explanation of why he did what he did, or why he is ok now. They tend not to admit they were wrong or treated us bad. That's all a part of this horrible thing we are ALL going through.
Just sit on your desire to send it yet. If he calls and repeatedly is awful, then let him get the letter.
I have sent more than a few in the past that I regretted later for doing it.
The well thought out letter, with the right words, pointing out MY position on something, and carefully saying how he hurt me has worked wonders.
Think about it first.
Mine couldn't get the right ones and they actually did more bad than good. So that's another reason why he refuses to take them.
Some of the side effects for those kinds of med's are suicidal thoughts, anxiety, etc. OMG we are given them to get rid of those symptoms and the side effects can and did cause them for my guy.
The med's might be a big part of his outburst.