phnxmoon,

I used to get at least one a week, but that was only when I couldn't go see him for that year. Now we talk so often, I even find it hard to find things to write about. Just occasionally.

They don't feel they have anything to say in letters all of the time. But I know it sure makes my day to see he sent something.

I know that this seems like we do all the work. Well girl, traditionally women are better at talking more, and writing more.

I feel guilty lately, because I hear him say its mail call time, and he is going to see if he got anything. What else would he get if it wasn't from me? His family doesn't write, he has only a couple guy friends, and they aren't the type to write. Guys do not really sit and express themselves as we do. Only when he was in solitary he did. Then it was sad to read them.

Yesterday I did fill an envelope with pictures I copied for him, to show him who my different family members are he hasn't met, and how big my grandson is getting, and cute pictures of Emmy, since he adores her. I found an article about a fight at the Nascar race, the stat's for Nascar. There were a few other things he wanted me to copy and send. Oh this envelope is stuffed, and he will be happy. And a 4 page letter. Whew, it's going to cost alot to send it.

That's another thing. He rarely has much money in canteen to pay for stamps envelopes and paper. I just gave him a good amount last week, but he is trying to make it stretch as long as possible. He is very careful about his spending.

It is just a GUY THING.. don't feel too bad. But tell him.
HAHA that's funny. There are a few things I KEEP telling mine, and its on deaf ears.

Give me your address and I will send you a letter. JUST KIDDING!

I don't get many at all ... I did get more at first but we talk all the time..Sounds crazy but if they take advantage of the meetings and any group "activities" in between meals and outside time it does limit there free time...My husband is the best husband ever but his writing sucks :) He is an awful speller (as many men are I found out) and it really is harder for him to write than me and you probably...The words just don't flow for them as they do us..... Can you just ask him to make a commitment for one letter a week or so even if it is really short? My husband told me he actually feels more comfortable and would never write under different circumstances... I know how it is to not want to ask from them but it may help him too .. I Love getting letters so I know how ya feel!

@ Wisconsin thanks and I know that guys typically aren't writers but will probably mention something when I get to see him on Sunday with his parents.

@mskim My guy actually has decent handwriting and spelling and what not lol. He just told me that he was going to start writing me a letter since I mailed him so many and with wedding pics like he wanted (I raided the wedding album and have to have some reprinted lol). He also told me that he was studying a lot for this chapter test and all too. So I do understand and will see what happens.

I kinda feel like I am the same way they are when mail call comes around to see if they got a letters. I check the mail hoping that I will have one in there when I check it I know sounds crazy lol. Ah well part of the life I guess lol. Thanks for listening ladies ^_^

I think my man is a bit different he writes dayily to me coz phone calls are so expensive. Tell him that you want to hear from him a bit more with letters. Yep I get the same way when I go check the mail even the guys at the post office are sorry when our mail gets messed up!
Hope he dos well in his class.

it's funny me and my fiance just had this talk and he started writing more and that what i needed the letters help me,what i think is they sometimes forget you need letters to more than they do

Thanks brand lol I will see him on sunday and see if I can talk to him when we have a few minutes alone to have him write more. I think they do forget that we use the letters like a lifeline type of thing. When I am sad I go back to the letters and reread them. It isn't always what helps me feel better but knowing that he still thinks of me as much as I do him helps a bit.

Phnxmoon....
I feel the same way sometimes. (like your guy, mine is in for a long sentence also, he gets out 2016) In the begining we wrote faithfully, like clock work every monday I got a letter from him, it was our "date night" lol. But after a few months, I continued to always make sure to write him so he would get mail, but sometimes he would slack on his part. I even try to include questions (some fun or really deep) or games or fun survey's, #1 to make the letters intersting and fun and #2 to help give us things to write about.

Granted we talk daily via email (and he calls often) but sometimes he even slacks on both of those too. I bring it to his attention and he always tells me he knows & he'll get on top of it & to be patient...& like someone else said, their schedules in there sometimes hinder their time...and I understand that, but I feel sometimes, if I can deal w/ all that goes on out here (working 2 jobs and staying on top of letters for him & anything he asks of me) then why can't I get the same treatment in return. I'm very grateful for what he does do & I tell him that, but at times I think that their could be more....I'm glad to know others deal with the same issues

I write my fiance every day. But I have so much to write about. there is always something crazy happening to me. And I know he loves his letters. It keeps us close even though we aren't. He only writes me a few times a month. I understand there really isn't much to say or tell me about. Plus I am a writer. So I can write until the cows come home. lol. I know he love's it. And I know it makes him smile. That's all I want. I love the few letters I get. I re-read them all the time. I keep telling him to write me more but I understand.

@blaques ya I agree that their could be more. I try to be understanding and everything that I know he is studying for his class and doing other things. I will most likely tell him that if he can write me more that would be great. I am definitely looking forward to the one he says he is going to write. I could use some cheering up right now. Glad I get to see his face on Sunday.

@imiss I am a writer at heart too and I don't mind at all that I write more it is just that I would like a little more frequency on his part. Especially since we only talk once a week and see him on the weekends when I can.

Just wish I had him home with me right now.

Ya know what I hate? I finally get a letter from him, and its just something, like a picture he drew of something he wants me to look up, or some nothing, mundane thing. It's like, really? We talked about this already, now I get all excited about the mail, and its just a few stupid strokes of a pencil describing what he wants.

Sometimes those kinds of letters, there wasn't even a hello... just a Love ya at the end.

They are not very in tune to our needs sometimes. I write in BIG BOLD letters, I need answers on these questions, quit avoiding them, and of course I get absolutely no response back on them.

I spent so much time the other day printing off pictures of people he wanted to see, like my niece, who I keep talking about, so he wants to know who she is, or nascar stories and stats, news articles about people he may want to read about, and a ton of other things. Big fat yellow envelope... and I get nothing.

If they get some sort of satisfaction out of receiving mail, then why the hell can't they get an occassional hello, I love you miss you letter would be just great. When he was in solitary I got 3 page letters, which is long for him. He poured out his feelings in those. The letters they write don't get read first by guards. Ours do. It's so hard talking on the phone, they listen. So I have told him WRITE TO ME what's going on, of course nothing. OMG MEN!!

Ya know I happy that I posted this topic on the board because I was afraid that I was over reacting or something. Glad to know that I am not the only one who gets frustrated knowing that we want letters just as much as they do.

I don't know if I am being extra sensitive lately or what, but little things he does, or says are really irking me. And I feel its always about making him happy, keeping him content, while we have to struggle emotionally, financially and every way possible. I want a little compassion, love and understanding. I don't want him to just assume I know and feel those things. I want him to be more loving, not expecting I just know he loves me and appreciates me. What the hell is wrong with saying it to us more often??

I write to him, telling him something that is bugging me, or something I need him to do or say, and he makes a joke of it, hahahaha, not funny, or ignores my needs at times.

Today I told him, Good thing you didn't say to come today because I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT! Hmmmm that had him thinking.

I told him I am sick of the long drive there and back, most days I love to come, today, not so much. I want him to wonder. After all these years of being together, he knows me too well, so time to change it a bit. Now I am going to play with his mind. Shake him up a bit. Not answer til the 5th ring or so. Not write letters so often. HAHA I am mean.

We seem to forget they are in prison for a reason. They made a stupid choice in many cases jeopardizing our lives with them.

Hi everyone, Just a quick post. For the 7 months we've been living in hell I mostly receive at least 1 letter every week. My son writes every day until he has a few pages and then sends it. I try to do the same but sometimes if I'm terribly down I don't write for a few days. Other times I will send 3 letters in a week. He is a good writer and pours out his heart and soul and tells me all the little and big details of life incarcerated. He was in county from April 15 until October 29th when he was moved to a state prison processing center. 15 days later he was moved again. I have not seen him since County but plan to as soon as I can. Letters keep us going. His release date is 2-21 2025..

Hi, I'm new to this and my son has just started his 27 month sentence, so what do I know? Except, that I now watch for the mailman and hurry out to see if there is a letter. When I get one, I read it over and over and between the lines. He was recently moved to a new facility and neither his girl friend or I have heard from him.We are both worried. I'm hoping it is because he has started his substance abuse classes, or that he hasn't gotten canteen privileges yet. I know he has money cause I just sent it via the automatic payment through J-Pay. So, I understand how you feel when you don't have a letter when you hope for one.

@dalybird I understand how you feel my hubby is sitting right now at eligble for parole in feb 2023. Long time but I am here for the long haul. It is tough when they are going through the processing stuff to go and be evaluated and then placed somewhere.

@coffee it takes a little bit for them to get the hang of getting supplies and whatnot. Jpay usually posts on there the next day. It defintiely makes things easier to put money on their books once you get the hang of it. Sorry you are going through this but this is truly an amazing support group.