Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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Day 2

saf0713
saf0713
Yesterday wasn't so bad. All the activity and immediate actions that have to be taken....and I wasn't even thinking I'd not be getting him back the next day...today...when I always had before. Today reality has set in. I knew the day was coming...Sept 9th. I knew we had till then but that day turned out to be yesterday. They filed the habitual...we are looking at anywhere from 5 to 8 years.

Judge set his bond at an amount I can never afford and have no hope of getting. Our kids..everyone has so many questions I can't answer. I don't want to talk about it with them anymore. I don't want to hear anymore well meaning advice that sounds like judgment from people who have no idea what this is like. I was doing good..keeping it together till our 8 year old said she missed him...I haven't stopped crying since.

Everything hurts. His coffee cup still on the counter, his laundry still in the dryer...his shoes still in the middle of our floor which he knows I hate. I should have been in bed a few hours ago..but I can't bring myself to walk into our room. No amount of mental prepping can ever prepare you for the blinding reality of vacancy.

5 to 8 years...even at minimum 5 years..our kids will be 13,14, and 18 when he gets out. He'll miss so much. I can do this...I know that I can but oh how I miss him and it's only day 2.
Sneshinka
Sneshinka
I am sorry you are going thru this especially with having kids i cant imagine how hard it is for you. Me and my fiance dont have kids together, but we been apart for a lil over 4 yrs and he is eligible for parole in less then 10 month. We made it somehow... you will too have faith and hope. Remember its only temporary.... good thoughts and prayers sending you way... their is also a secret group on facebook if you need more support i will be happy to add you to it. I am one of the administrators on their as long as with another girl Chanel she is awesome too. You are not alone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
July 4 was the day my partner got incarcerated. I still have not washed his pillow case. We knew it was happening as well. I cried for days. It is over a month now and I still cry but he has been able to call for the last 2 weeks so I have a connection again. We did not talk for 3 weeks.. it was difficult not knowing what was going on with him.
You are not alone. And I know that right now it does not feel like it is possible, but it does get easier.
angeladam
angeladam
It really is so hard. Try to just get through one day at a time. At the end of each day give yourself praise and encouragement for another day. Stay busy. Take care of yourself- eat good food, sleep if you can, go outside in the fresh air. Breathe deeply and slowly when you are stressed. Read books if you can. Hug your kids a lot and pray. You are not alone on this journey.