I wish today were sunday and he'd call me at his regular time...
I wish I could hug him and tell him everything will be fine..
I wish I could see him smile and kiss my lips again
I wish for the sun to shine for us and life to be right once more..
I wish he could just come home again... I want this to be over though its only just begun.. Both of us trying to be positive but it gets harder to see the light with the more time that is going... Its been just over a month and I have seen him once at court. I have talked to him many times now that he realizes how much talking to him means to me.. He writes so at least one or two letters a week is received.. My tears are never far.. I try not to go out in public for fear I'll see a happy couple and wish it were me and my guy... This time of year was always special for us.. I was never a big holidays person but after he came back into my life I was... I am... The happy flow of bright colorful christmas decorations.. thanksgiving dinners... the warmth and welcome of love and sharing we both have for each other.. three years is so little in the big scheme of things but that's how long we have been together.. Our love was quick to rekindle after 11 years of separation... I can't imagine what he is going through there. I want to stop it. I want him to come home.. I love him and it gets harder to see the bright side of things the longer he is gone... but I'll stick by him no matter how long it takes... I just wish I could hold him... I want to touch his face and kiss his lips.. I look around my house and I see his things everywhere... they bring me memories of him moving in.. of him staying with me.. My bedroom has many memories.. His things are all in my room in neat locations where he put them... I wish I could talk to him any time I want.. I wish this were all a bad dream and I'll wake up with him in my arms... I just miss him so much.. I want him back with me... Jail and prison life doesn't affect just the one there but also those that have a life with them... its unfair we have to endure little communication with our men and women incarcerated... there are strict rules and regulations that are enforced on the people that this affects most... Its not right what happens to those that are charged and the so called victim has more say than the one being accused... its possible the accused is the victim in the charges but that isn't even viewed... it has to be proven that the victim is a liar first... I have no faith in our justice system... none.. I cannot fathom why we even sit by and allow the justice system to take advantage of those that cannot fight back... I love my guy with all my being.. I will wait for him to come home... to my open arms... I will love him and protect him as I can... although, he'll want to protect me first.. I am waiting for the day that he can come home... I will wait as long as he has to endure... I will be his strength..no matter how it hurts.. My tears are minimal... I hope the courts see through this.. I hope the lawyer we got shows some aggressive punches... I miss him a lot tonight.. I just needed to talk about him... to anyone that wouldn't judge me for waiting... for loving him... I just wish he was here tonight... and every night...