Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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patnard 06/24/2013

I just got a very emotional call from my sister in law and I need to ask for your prayer's. My husband's sister is in the hospital and is not doing well at all, she has not seen her brother in over 7 year's (since he's been in prison) because she was living in Bolivia when he was sent away. When she came home she was to sick to travel so she's only spoken to him on the phone and on e-mail. The doctor's don't think she is going to make it and her only request is to be sent home to be with her family and she need's to speak to her brother. I just called his counselor to see if they could approve her phone # in the hospital just in case she doesn't make it home.
This is so hard on my husband because he can't see her and he know he won't be allowed to attend any of her services. This must be so hard on other families when this happens, this may sound crazy but does anyone have any suggestions to make this a little easier. Please keep her in your prayer's her name is Cheryl. Thank you. Pat

deleted_user 06/24/2013

I don't have any advice but I am so sorry for your family and what they are going through. I will keep you all in my thoughts!

indianamelody 06/24/2013

I will keep you, your husband, and his sister in my prayers. The only advice I can give is have your husband write down everything he would say in person- and then if he gets to call her he can look at what he wrote so he doesn't forget anything he wants to say- if he doesn't get to call, he can send the letter. I know that doesn't make it easier, but at least he won't forget to say everything he needs and wants to say.

ihatewisconsin 06/24/2013

I'm so sorry. My fiance lost his mom, and his sister while incarcerated. It is very hard on them. Just be supportive and loving, like I know you will. If he is a little cranky some days, just realize its because he can't be there for all of this. If he is sad, just love him all the more. I made him feel better by going to his mom's grave the last time he was in, and was sad because it was mom's day and he couldn't bring her flowers at the cemetary. So he felt better because I did it for him. I told him I sat by her grave and had a little talk with her, and told her I was taking care of her son. He smiled and said thanks.

brandnewangel 06/24/2013

there might be a way he can attend the service if she passes away what you do is call the super at the prison talk to them the only thing is he will be cuffed and a guard will be there..basically after the service he will be taken back to prison... i am sorry

deleted_user 06/24/2013

Sending thoughts your way!! You may be able to contact the chaplain at the prison. Maybe there is a program where he is that will let him attend?

vckmag42 06/25/2013

If you have any pictures of him, send her a letter with a picture and tell her that he is thinking of her and she is in all of our prayers. Maybe someone there could take a picture of her; so your husband can have that; just a close up of her face. I am so sorry; they do sometimes let prisoners go to funerals; but probably not out of the country.
Sending you my warmest regards

patnard 06/26/2013

Thanks for all you prayers and well wishes, so far no change which is a good thing I spoke to his co at the prison and if he were allowed to come it would cost way to much for any of us to afford so for now he is calling her everyday, he makes her laugh and I'm sure that must put a smile on her face, vck thank you for the suggestion about the pictures I am going to go threw all my pic's and find a good one for her, good idea. I will keep you all posted on her condition.
Hugs,
Pat

Suchaslife 06/28/2013

Iam sorry pat you guys are in my thoughts.
Hugs me

imissmyson2 06/28/2013

I am sorry for both of you. At least he has been able to talk with her and the no change in her condition means for nnow she is holding her own. We will continue to pray. sending hugs too, Cindy

stacyanne1975 06/29/2013

Sorry to hear this, Pat. My thoughts are with you and your family.

My brother and I lost both of our grammas within 6 months of each while he has been in. He told me to tell him through email and not to call the prison cause he wanted to keep it private and not involve the chaplin, so I had to respect his wishes and do that. I would take to your husband about how he wants you to handle it when she passes.
I am glad they are talking daily!! I think the prison should give them extra phone time in circumstances like this.
Hugs to you and your family, Stay strong, Cheryl!!!

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