Funny you post this right now, I just got a call for a job interview tomorrow and I am not sure if I am ready to go back to work..Here is my thinking..I will go to the interview and get the practice of interviewing, decide if It is something I would like to do or if I even want it..If I take it and things don't work out at least I got paid for a bit and got out of the house, who knows I might even learn something new..Or meet new people that I like! I think in most places they have evening visists and early am visits along with all day weekends..Many people have to work around their visits so I would think they make it work...For me I have to take care of the homefront first. You will need to make choices like this along the way and you can't let yourself come last or you will not be strong enough to hold it all up..you deserve it! You count too! Don't pass up an opportunity if it is a good one, He will be okay..You will see. Be sure you are going to be emotionally ready to go back to work, when this all hits you it may be harder than you think..If you do take it and the hours are flexible you may be able to request a shift around the visiting schedule to go see him..If you let them know you have a standing appointment on weekends for example they may keep that part of the day open for you you don't have to say what it is..Just go to the interview and see how you feel when it is over..You have nothing to loose by checking it out..But only accept it if you can handle it right now..It may even be a blessing..Something to help boost your confidence and concentrate on other than all the craziness! I got laid off days before my husband went in, in my case hime going was a shock and unexpected so I really don't think I could have made it to work every day, I was a mess..But now, I think I will be okay and I know that everything works the way it should if you allow it to..Say a prayer, what can it hurt...follow your heart and as I have learned just do the next right thing every day..Tomorrow will figure itself out! You are in my prayers and I am sending positive thoughts to you as always..My husband is very far away now so I have to take an entire weekend ..where he was they had Friday night visits and early morning weekend visits..You just never know! Only you can decide and you will make the right choice I am sure!

Thanks MisKim for the positive vibes. So I went ahead and responded to the email so I will most likely get a phone interview tomorrow and then if I pass that then a face interview. When it asked when you could start and all I said July 1st. I figured since he is being sentenced on the 28th I will allow myself a few days to grieve or however you want to put it.
Unfortunetly we live in his parents house and they have told me they are having a hard time covering the mortgage. So not only do I have medical stuff to deal with my parents but now I feel like I still won't have time to deal with everything. So I don't think I have that luxury to wait sadly. But I am woman hear roar lol.

And you are right I can figure something out and it'll be good for me. For us so that I can try to keep this house so it will be here when he gets out and so that I don't have to live with his parents. That would be toooo much for sure. Will keep you posted and good luck on your interview.... P.S. glad I am not alone in this ^_^

I'm right there with you. There are lots of weekend jobs...JUST weekends for nurses where I live. I actually just turned one down. I have to be able to have visitation with my husband. Believe it or not, nursing jobs are not easy to come by in spite of what people think. I just lost my job last week, but I put my foot down at not having contact with my husband. It's already hard enough. I'd take one for a month or two if I was desperate, which is not very good for my resume. But honestly, there are lines that have to be drawn and this is one of them for me.

MisKim is right though. There has to be a balance. You have got to be able to provide for your family, because your man isn't there to help right now and you're the only one that can do it while he's gone. Because I'm a nurse I already work stupid hours. But I go out of my way to make sure that I can support my kids and still be able to see my husband, even if it's only every 2 months. But I can't have it taken away completely. I don't have a support system, him and his parents are it I don't have a family of my own to talk to or that cares about me and my daughters. So this is why I do what I have to do to make it work while still making sure me and the kids are o.k.

I'm right there with you. There are lots of weekend jobs...JUST weekends for nurses where I live. I actually just turned one down. I have to be able to have visitation with my husband. Believe it or not, nursing jobs are not easy to come by in spite of what people think. I just lost my job last week, but I put my foot down at not having contact with my husband. It's already hard enough. I'd take one for a month or two if I was desperate, which is not very good for my resume. But honestly, there are lines that have to be drawn and this is one of them for me.

MisKim is right though. There has to be a balance. You have got to be able to provide for your family, because your man isn't there to help right now and you're the only one that can do it while he's gone. Because I'm a nurse I already work stupid hours. But I go out of my way to make sure that I can support my kids and still be able to see my husband, even if it's only every 2 months. But I can't have it taken away completely. I don't have a support system, him and his parents are it I don't have a family of my own to talk to or that cares about me and my daughters. So this is why I do what I have to do to make it work while still making sure me and the kids are o.k.

Thanks broken. It is one of those things that you jsut have to weigh out the options. I am hoping that I can get this job so I can make sure to have this house for when he does come out. I am feeling a lot better now too. This group is a lifesaver because otherwise I would feel completely lost. I mean if I were to tell my mom she would say I understand that you need to see him but you need a job.

I mean its' one of those things like of course I know I need a job but its' the emotion of stuff that you have to think about other factors too. That there is a person who will want to see you during visitation and stuff too. ^_^

You are so right..Do what you need to do just for today..We have no idea what the future holds and all we can do is try to do what is right for us! Visitation is a huge huge thing..It has to be considered so just I would just take what you can get and see how much you can handle for now and if it does happen to make visits impossible than deal with it..The better you are the better he will be I am sure!

So I have an interview with that job I just applied for. It is on Thursday (which is my one yr anniversary) lol So cross your fingers that I get it.

Hope you get it.... :)

Wow, i can't believe how many of us on here don't have a job. I am happy for you that you got the interview. I also always made sure jobs I had fit around his visits. Now for sure, since I haven't had them in over a year, I would make sure that visits and work were feasible, BUT still, if you don't get unemployment, or even if you do, and it isn't enough, you have to live.

We have so many pressures on us when they go. I do think it is great that you found this site before he went in. You are preparing yourself ahead of time.

One thing I am worried about with you, is the timing of the job. You said he goes on the 28th, and you said you could start on the 1st, that only gives you 2 days to pull yourself together, and I don't think that is possible. Those first couple weeks are the worst time of adjustment. You are not going to be functioning normally. Everything in your life is going to be different. You know you will be sad.

This is a good thing and a bad thing right now to have this interview. It is making you excited, but you need more than 2 days hon, to adjust.

Then, after a period of time, you should work, not just for money but for sanity. I know not having a job for awhile now, that it makes the days go longer, you dwell more on missing him. When I worked, at least 8 hours a day were spent mostly not being able to focus on the loss.

I am not trying to dampen your spirits about this, I just think realistically, you can't expect to handle life well 2 days after he is taken. Unless you are alot different than me.

You are smart talking to all of us ahead of time, trying to prepare, but you have no idea how your emotions are going to affect you. You may NEED the diversion along with the money, and if you can focus on other things, thats good, but if you already know you are going to be a mess, how will you be able to learn a new job and do it well?

Money IS important, jobs are important, VERY, but this is going to throw you for a loop. You will be in a haze the first few days. Prepare yourself for that. I am not sure what kind of job it is, and how much concentration it takes, but only if you are the kind of person that can seperate your emotions, will this work. I am actually thrilled I lost my job. I am used to not having much, and it was a terrible, terrible job, with stressful, nasty people, so it was not helping my state of mind when I lost my visits.

Oh, I don't mean to be negative at all, just realistic. I feel the 2 days is not enough. It is a whole change of lifestyle you have to get used to.

I am glad you are on here, you need people that understand. You were smart to get on before he goes in. I waited til after. I didn't know what to expect. If I had come on here before, maybe I would of dealt with it better. Lots of our friends on here are very smart people. You take what advice you get from them, and do what you feel is the best. Their experiences definitely will help you guide yourself through what you need to do, and how things go.

I agree with Wisconsin, If you have to start right away it may be too much..When you go to the interview ask how soon they need you, some places expect a couple weeks for you to give noitce if you already have a job..Let them know you have some things to get together and will need to start in a couple weeks if you can..I had my interview yesterday and I don't know if I got the job yet but I have to say, I rocked!! I focused on the job they have open, talked about my previous experience and for just a bit it was all about me! I had to interview in front of 4 people so YIKES! but it was an experience that either way, I got some practice if anything! I got dressed like a human and left the house! For me I really don't think I would have made a great impression on my first week if this had just happened..(It actually crossed my mind what if I cry during the job interview since it happens so randomly :) But, You have had some time to prepare I did not..I think when he is really gone and you are sitting there alone it may set in for you..You still don't even know how much time he is going to get, that may come as a shock also..Lets pray it is not more than you can handle..So, just like I said, do what you can today! If you can interview and it goes well who knows...If you get it and they understand you need a little time even better! If not, like I said you have nothing to loose and maybe you will feel good you did it! Staying up and keeping positive is so hard and maybe just not possible but just do little things that may eventually get you there! Sending you prayers..you are in my thoughts and I am sure I am not alone in saying we will all be there for you in spirit on the 28th! take care!

Thanks everyone for the positive vibes and all.

@ihatewisconsin.... I understand what you mean about realisticlly 2 days isn't enough. The job I am applying for is for a gift shop. Mindless retail work really that I can do in my sleep. Especially since I have been in retail for like my whole life. I think I can seperate the personal from the work. I did it before when this whole thing started and no one but the essential people like the sotre manager and my manager really new what was going on with me. I did this for like 5 months before I quit.

Theoreticlly I know I would probably benefit from not working for 2 weeks. But I won't have any money coming in and with the stress that i feel from his mom that they can't afford to cover mortgages on the two houses I feel like she could decide to sell the house and then where would I be? I would like to think that she wouldn't kick me out but my name isn't on the house or anything. I am simply married to her son and he would wuit talking to her altogether if she kicked me out I think.

I just feel like if I don't do this then I have no stability here. Granted I know I could move in with his parents but lets face it his mom has been driving me crazy for awhile now that I don't think that is such a good idea lol. I am really happy I thought to join this group prior to going in because I think it would be worse. I they did say it would take a little while to do get the background and drug test stuff done. Si I wouldn't be starting that soon. It would be like 7-10 days or something like that. I figure if I'll work use that time to kind of numb out and pretend like nothing is wrong and then only when I get home do I allow myself to weep for the husband that isn't there.

In the darkness will I find my solace and grief the loss of touch for the one I love. (You can't tell I am a writer at heart can you? lol) I appreciate all of you guys who have helped me thus far and happy that I have such a good support base in place. ^_^ Hugs of thanks to everyone.

Great attitude! Writing is a great release for sure! When it gets to be too much don't think too hard about tomorrow, it won't change a thing! Do the best you can for you today! A gift shop would be fun and light..if you can hold back tears better than I could at first that is :) Have a good day if ya can..Have you got any alone time or got to do anything special with your husband before he goes ?

@miskim... Yes luckily I have gotten some alone time with the hubby. Tomorrow we definietely have together aside from the interview. This weekend will be busy of course since his mom and dad are throwing a party for his dad;s birthday and then joined with like a going away type thing for the hubby.

Writing is awesome lol without it I would go crazy lmao. Today is his last day at work and then we are together so that is really good. Poor guy had to struggle the lst few days. He just didn't want to go in and I told him just call in ya know? He is too much of a stand up guy for that. Part of the reason why I love him so much.

It is starting to hit me a litle bit more but I kinda just push it away ya know. I haven't cried or anything but I it is slowly becoming more of a reality. It just sucks that I am feeling so much pressure to get work and I just feel so unstable. His parents keep bringin up the whole job thing but take into consideration that I am going to the same thing they are. I think it kinda slips the mind or something. Ah well, I'll live lol And I agree after all this I think I will be stronger and go through the hardest thing ever. All will. be well I tell myself ^_^

Yes, just see what happens, but KNOW you will not be ready 2 days after he goes. You may benefit from a job in a few weeks, not just monetarily, but to keep busy. Don't let his parents bug you about the money. Just tell them, you will take care of what you need to, in time, and they have to understand that this is going to be hard, because you know it is hard on them too. BUT that they have each other, and you are losing the other half of you. They have someone to snuggle up to at night, they have that person they love at the dinner table, and riding in the car with them, you won't. And that you love their son with all your heart, and you just need time to adjust, be sad, and figure out how to live for awhile without him. Hopefully they will appreciate that you talked to them, and really be grateful that he has you in his life. That should matter alot.

Yes we will all be here, wishing we could be there to hug you when you are sad. That will happen. We will all be waiting to hear how you are. I know, we will all start driving to come be with you. Wouldn't that be nice. We could all do a round robbin thing where we just keep going to each other's houses. We would be so busy, who would have time to cry.