Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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cmorton557 09/04/2015

Hello. Its been a while so I thought I'd let all of you know that I'm still here. Still waiting. We just just under 2 years to go. It feels like this whole thing is taking forever. Some days are still better than other days. I miss him all the time but now, I've gotten used to the silence. Most of the time I keep myself busy. I work, a lot! I go to school and I'm trying to finish my degree in investigative forensics. Writing has helped. He still doesn't want me to visit. I requested for my birthday that I wanted to see him but he hasn't answered. He calls just about every day at least once and sometimes two or three times. He hates the waste of money on calls but he recognizes that we need that in order to stay connected. I try not to give in to the weakness of crying about what I cannot change. We get a little closer to his day of freedom with every day that passes. That is what I focus on. He will have his day. September 2017 can't come fast enough. I've been by his side and supported him throughout this ordeal. Its hard but many have done this before me and many will do this after me... It can be done. I wish you all great strength and a full life.. Reach out if you need anything. Just talking sometimes helps. I was not this strong a year ago. I still have my breakdowns but not as often... Just checking in! Hope this message meets you all with a good and blessed day.

ihatewisconsin 09/04/2015

Glad you updated us. I still don't get why he won't let you go see him. That's awful. I guess you have come to terms with it. I would kill mine if he didn't want me to go see him.

Sounds like you are doing ok otherwise. That's great. I think we all have to go through the depression part and letting things go in our lives, like jobs, family, etc. We aren't able to cope at first. Then we don't get USED TO it, but we adapt.

I have a job now, near my home. I keep busy, and he wants me to be busy, not being sad. I still cry sometimes, it is always hard being alone, but we only have 11 months THIS TIME. He was out 10 months after 3.5 years in, so it's like he was never out.

I hope you can get through this next 2 years. I think you will. Don't be a stranger on here.

Suchaslife 09/05/2015

C! So good to hear from you!
Iam happy to hear that you're doing okay. Hang in there.

jabswifey 09/08/2015

OMG I couldn't imagine not seeing my husband. He also will be home in 2017. I can kinda understand why he doesn't want you to come. My husband says he feels guilty that I have to take time off and pay to drive to see him and he knows it is emotionally stressful. I just explained to him that I visit him as much for me as I do for him. Do you know how the visitation works. Is it contact or just through glass? Through glass was really hard on my husband. I hope he changes his mind for you. I am new here and haven't been real good at keeping in touch but it does help a lot.

sallyblue 09/08/2015

You are all so brave! I feel so tiny in comparison with my husbands short sentence. I couldn't imagine not seeing my husband but it is horrible seeing them there, just wanting to bring them back. My husband is entitled to 4 visits a month but he told me not to do the morning one as I would need to leave at 6am. We also discussed that if I couldn't get a lift for the afternoon one not to take the bus again(I left my house at 8.45am and it was 12 hours by the time I got home) so its down to 2 visits for 45 minutes.

You are to be admired for your strength that's for sure!

cmorton557 09/08/2015

Thank you ladies. I take it day by day. Mostly, he has been doing alright. He is tired of being where he is. He goes through the motions and emotions at times. I am there to bring him up when he is starting to fall. He recognizes what a good person I am, and he is scared that something will happen to me while he is inside. He is a protector first. Unfortunately for him, he's had to take a backseat to being the protector and now has to be the protected. Our love is stronger than time apart and this only makes us want to be together more. I wish all of you ladies the best. We can all make it! I am hoping for the next parole hearing that he will be given good news. I don't know when that will be but its likely next year. If he doesn't get that, then it will be early september 2017. For what he did, 4 years sentence is beyond me.. He lapsed in his probation for not paying a fine. I mean, it is just not right that he has to do all his time for a probation violation!!! Anyway, I am continuing to stay busy and not get angry about the things that I have no control over... I'll try to check in more often Ihatewisconsin. I'm sorry to hear he is back in by the way. I know you are having difficulty with him getting used to his new surroundings and other people crowding his space. I hope that things get easier. The worry never goes away....

jabswifey, the visits are contact visits. It's only an hour drive and I've already spelled out that I don't mind driving to him. He isn't ready, maybe he never will be. He hasn't even let his parents or his children visit. It's tough but I don't want to force him. He has so many of his rights taken from him and he is locked up. The last thing I need to do to him is make his decisions and force him. That will just be unpleasant for all.

Suchaslife 09/09/2015

C it sounds like you are doing so well :) yep it is hard but wow you have got it together iam proud of you.
Iam a bit bum that you still can't see him i hope that will change.
One day at a time :)

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