Families & Friends of Gays & Lesbians Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is either gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning their sexual orientation. The purpose of this community is to help families and friendships grow and maintain positive relationships with gay sons, daughters, family or friends.
I have a lesbian child, came out in her early 20's and I have been ok with it once I went to some PFLAG meetings and read several books. I had to get beyond the religious interpretations I had grown up with, that sexual orientation is a choice instead of a built-in part of who the person is. She had a few short-term relationships and I was supportive. NOW, however, she is very friendly with a guy from her high school years, and sounds like she is seeing a possible relationship with him. I am having a hard time with this because I don't understand bisexuality - you are supposedly born with an orientaion one way or the other. Going both ways sounds to me like just choosing to have sex with whoever is handy at the moment. I guess what I am asking here is whether there is really such a thing as bisexuality in the sense that you are truly born with orientation to both? Have other straight mothers experienced this situation? Comments please. laurabp
There is such a thing as bisexuality. It is not picking whoever is handy at the moment (though there are some people who use the label bi as an excuse to have sex with anyone).
Think of it as a spectrum. It's actually called the Kinsey scale. It goes from 0-6, 0 being 100% heterosexual, 6 being 100% homosexual. Not everyone can score an exact 0 or 6. A lot of us fall somewhere in the middle.
Most bisexuals have a 'preference' (I use that term loosely) meaning that even though they may be attrached to men and women, they tend to date one gender or the other. I have an ex who is bi, but dates lesbians 90% of the time.
In terms of your daughter, as long as she is looking for an honest relationship with the guy, don't worry too much about it. She is following her emotions and that's not a bad thing.
Good luck,
Owl