"letting them roll however they feel comfortable" is a good start. Be there for support and advice, but let them learn their own identity. You are a statistical improbability, having two gay sons, but you seem like an open and compassionate individual, so it's probably a blessing. I'm surprised that your town is so backward considering it is in Oregon. Then again, I live in New York and I know New York City is a far cry from Appalachia. Encourage your boys to be who they are, take pride in themselves, and not let words hurt them. Reach out to their school guidance counselors and share your fears. Try and recruit the counselor to be another set of supportive eyes and ears. If, unfortunately, you find the school administration to be as backward as you say the rest of the community is, then monitor them yourself. If your boys are bullied and administration does not handle it properly or in fact decides to be bullies themselves, ask for a sit down meeting with the principal. If things are not to your satisfaction, let them know that you will be reaching out to the ACLU/Lambda Legal and that the next meeting you have with the principal will be accompanied by your lawyer. Never let injustice box you into a corner, and never show your boys that it is okay to let bullies win.

On a more positive note, it might be nice if you and your boys could socialize with other families in the gay community. Please reach out to PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) to see if there is a chapter near you. As June is Pride month, I'd imagine there are a ton of events to take part in.

Phillipians 4:6

Speaking as a gay kid and a child of the XY Generation, just direct them to the LGBT center in or around your community. You live in Oregon? Remember Matthew Sheppard. If you feel that moving to a more accepting town is better, and you can afford it---do it!
My parents did. I also go to a progressive school that have a gay student program. I don't get bullied in my school, or for that matter in the place I live. Denmark is like that. Aside from Walt Disney World, it's the safest place in the world for gay kids.
Good luck.

Thanks guys. Right now, we are in the process of relocating to a larger area, that will actually give support and connection options for both boys. Right now we live in a town with less than 10,000 people which has been ok up until their needs changed. My older son came out to a couple friends last year, though they didn't make trouble for him, they ate not his friends any longer. I dont want my younger son to experience that or either of them to experience worse. Thanks again and keep your fingers crossed that we land in an environment where each can be however they feel want to be.