Families & Friends of Gays & Lesbians Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is either gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning their sexual orientation. The purpose of this community is to help families and friendships grow and maintain positive relationships with gay sons, daughters, family or friends.
I am beside myself. I have caught my teenage son looking at gay porn and suspect he may be gay. I have no problem with it, but his father is somewhat homophobic. My son mainly uses his father's computer. When I have caught him, I have deleted the links to the porn he has looked at and forbade him to look again. Kids will be kids, so I am not sure he has obeyed me, although he is basically a good kid. Anyway, my husband has taken his PC to the shop to replace the power supply. I am sick with worry that the tech will find something. Some the sites referenced 'teen' pics and, even though the models looked 18+ to me and my son is only 16 anyway, if the tech thinks it is my husband who has been going the site, he may think he is a pedophile. I don't know what to do. I don't want my son to be outed that way and I certainly don't want my husband in trouble. I am tempted to phone the repair shop myself and explain the situation. On the other hand, the tech really shouldn't have any reason to go looking at old internet links anyway. What should I do? I feel physically sick over this.
As for your husband... being "somewhat homophobic" is like being somewhat pregnant. You either are, or you aren't. And only *he* can change his thinking.
Since you found him looking at those pics already, you could try talking to him about this. If you do, be sure to let him know that you love him and will accept him for the person he is. Looking at pics on the computer is pretty normal for kids these days. They're naturally very curious. But you *could* also look into blocking those sites from your computer because there *is* some pretty raunchy stuff out there.
This could be a good time for you to try and talk to him about being sexually active and practicing safe sex. If he's a teenager, it's the right time to talk to him about being responsible; not only for himself, but for the welfare of others. Letting him know that he can talk to you is a good way to build a better relationship with him.