Good job,, quite frankly driving a vechical that technically is yours is a priveledge,,, now you have to be consistent,,, you now have to drive him all the time,,,, mean what you say,,, say what you mean,,, you use you can not drive,,,, great consequence especially for a boy ,,,, i have a 20 year old,,, I know how much his truck means to him!

I'll keep reminding you!!

Hugs

So proud of you Dee! Consequences! After we talked today I spoke with Sean and he said he was telling his friend that I was asking him questions and he was sharing, he said he made him feel really good! So as much as you think I helped you, you helped my son feel great! Thank you!! On another note I also said to him I was very bad at sticking to my guns and he said he knew that and it made it easy for him. I guess the same way they have to learn on their own we do too. You did great! Xxoo

P.S. his friend also told him he should charge addict consulting fees! LOL

it was inconvenient for me to do that with my son..but it was either that, walk or get a ride...then when we thought things were better, he owned a car in anothe state, and when he got another dui, I had the car towed away...I was paying his insurance, and the car would have cost more than it was worth to get fixed....fast forward over 3 years...still no car, but sober and taking busses and trains and taxis....
and I felt good keeping others safe
and I felt good not paying overpriced insurance
and I felt good taking some control.

Good on ya (I think that is austrailian.)

High five!! Way to stand up for yourself and let him know he wasn't pulling the wool over your eyes anymore.
Wish more parents would be like this. My therapist love children and counseling teens and children. She say number one problem she sees is parents who aren't consistent. Good job!
He is at the age to make healthy changes now before the drugs get a much worst hold on him.

WooHoo, good for U Mama :)
This gives me strength to keep my boundaries in place :)
Thank You

Great job Dee! Stay strong, I think even if he was really mad, deep down, he knows in his heart that you love him. Proud of you! K

Kudos to you Dee! You did well!

Today my parents were confronted with an unexpected visit from my brother early in the morning. He came to "get things" like books and whatever else he could find to sell. How do I know he want to sell stuff? He said it himself.

He demanded money. He said things a parent should never have to hear. He was a mess, he even tried to punch my mother in the face. He made my father cry..

BUT, my parents didn't give him money and didn't let him take anything from the house.

Only my dad, he gave him some food, which I am sure he is going to sell or trade..

I've been waiting for the day he came home and found only his parents, not a cash machine...

wow Pen....would they call the cops if they felt the need?

I don't know.. I don't think so. However, my mother has set her mind onto changing the locks of the garden cottage, the only place my brother still has access to..

It's crazy that he has changed so much. It's as if the person he used to be has evaporated. My mom told him that she will not stand watching her own son coming home to manipulatively beg for food. Knowing her as I do, she reached today super human status.

Anyway, the original post of this thread is about Dee's anti-enabling success, so I'll leave our drama to rest.

have a good day today ladies!

Great Job!! This is encouraging news!!!

Pen Its great your mom and dad held their ground and didn't let your brother have anything but food. Its up to him if he eats it or not.

Pen - the person who led the 3 day family program I went to was a recovering addict and said his parents cut him off even when he was on the streets but his dad always left a breakfast biscuit outside the place he stayed. And he got better. I thought of that when I read your comments - it's bad now but there may still be some hope there for down the road.

seehigs - it sounds like you are handling this well. You have to be tough (tougher than I was, lol). I think you still have a ways to go with him - the fact that he got pissed tells me he's still fighting getting well, but the fact that he went anyway is a good sign. And the fact that you're standing firm.

Ok everyone thank you for the support ! It is hard to be tough because we love "them" but I have tryed to be understanding and supportive and I feel like he was taking advantage of it . I told him don't mistake my kindness for weakness. Don't get me wrong I will continue to support his recovery to the day I die but I will never ever support his bad choices. He knows it's on him that he can no longer have his truck so too bad live and LEARN from your mistakes, and Pen I am so sorry that your poor parents had to have such an upsetting situation my heart really goes out to them. Maybe this can be a turning point now that he knows they will not fold? ( they do try their best to break us down though don't they) I will definetley be consistent tonight he has to go to counseling and i have to attend my daughter's 5 grade concert so my husband will have to miss the concert and take him back n forth to conseling yep it's inconvenient but we have been through much worse I'm just glad both my daughters have been so understanding sad but they are more mature at 10 and 12 then he is at 18. I just hold onnto the hope that one day when this is all behind us he will make it up to his sisters . Have a great day everyone! Dee