Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
This should be a journal...but with the holidays coming thought I would share my Thanksgiving. So no one else feels alone in the insanity.
Middle son has cut me off because he doesn't want to deal with this life anymore....so no call. Whatever
Younger son gets here high. Older son...clean for 50 days (again I say huge difference between clean and recovery) both come here. Younger one is visibly out of it. We are both upset. He says tell him to leave. I say lets just try to get thru this day without a family war please. So the tension is horrible.
(Just a little history...I sold my house and closed....staying at a friends Dad's spare apt while my new place is getting ready. He is a very sick man with extreme heart issues. )
So I say to the older one I cannot upset this man doing me a favor. He doesn't care. Clean not recovery....younger one pretty much just stays quiet. Watching football. Am I upset he is high??? Beyond. But not the time to confront it. So younger one is out smoking a cigarette. The older one sees I have an extra TV not hooked up. Its here til I move. My bedroom tv. So he asks if he can borrow it for his new place. I say no. He presses the issue. I say I loaned you my tablet and you stole it and sold it. Well that was it....we ate dinner with him not looking at me or his brother. He threw a hissy fit that I didn't have salt. I'm here temporary and did my best to give us a dinner. So he eats and stands up and says I'm leaving. How dare you hurt my feelings about that tablet. Huh? What am I missing here???
He says to his younger brother...the jeans you are wearing were in my bag. You went in my bag and took them? My younger son says yes I did they are mine along with the two sweatshirt and hat you took from me. He starts with how he is sick of people taking things from his bag....not his to begin with....he steals everyones stuff.
He walks out and tells me to defend the younger one til his death. That I favor him.
I'm not sure how I favor the younger. I had just given the older one $500 towards an apt to get out of the shelter. I feel like a complete idiot for even helping him. This is exactly why I always said he will never change. He has entitlement issues and a rage issues.
The younger one and I will talk today. I have learned talking to them when they are high gets no where. He feel asleep here and will take in a few.
Middle son has cut me off because he doesn't want to deal with this life anymore....so no call. Whatever
Younger son gets here high. Older son...clean for 50 days (again I say huge difference between clean and recovery) both come here. Younger one is visibly out of it. We are both upset. He says tell him to leave. I say lets just try to get thru this day without a family war please. So the tension is horrible.
(Just a little history...I sold my house and closed....staying at a friends Dad's spare apt while my new place is getting ready. He is a very sick man with extreme heart issues. )
So I say to the older one I cannot upset this man doing me a favor. He doesn't care. Clean not recovery....younger one pretty much just stays quiet. Watching football. Am I upset he is high??? Beyond. But not the time to confront it. So younger one is out smoking a cigarette. The older one sees I have an extra TV not hooked up. Its here til I move. My bedroom tv. So he asks if he can borrow it for his new place. I say no. He presses the issue. I say I loaned you my tablet and you stole it and sold it. Well that was it....we ate dinner with him not looking at me or his brother. He threw a hissy fit that I didn't have salt. I'm here temporary and did my best to give us a dinner. So he eats and stands up and says I'm leaving. How dare you hurt my feelings about that tablet. Huh? What am I missing here???
He says to his younger brother...the jeans you are wearing were in my bag. You went in my bag and took them? My younger son says yes I did they are mine along with the two sweatshirt and hat you took from me. He starts with how he is sick of people taking things from his bag....not his to begin with....he steals everyones stuff.
He walks out and tells me to defend the younger one til his death. That I favor him.
I'm not sure how I favor the younger. I had just given the older one $500 towards an apt to get out of the shelter. I feel like a complete idiot for even helping him. This is exactly why I always said he will never change. He has entitlement issues and a rage issues.
The younger one and I will talk today. I have learned talking to them when they are high gets no where. He feel asleep here and will take in a few.
is your middle son an addict too?
I think you were right not to give the TV, and I don't think you should have probably given him the money for a place to live....
and they should not show up high, and they should treat you with respect.
All that being said, you got to see two of your three kids. they ate, they are alive. So, there were good things.
and when you move to the new house, maybe you let them all know you have new rules....don't ask for money or stuff and treat me with respect or get out, and don't come over high. period.
new house, new start, new rules.
When do you get to finally move into your new place?
I shouldn't have I know. I just want him out of my face day and night. The middle one has addiction potential. He's been drinking often. I'm concerned because he's been a different person. We used to be extremely close. These days if I say hi wrong he gets twisted. Insane this life.
I'm moving to a gated community. 24 hour security guards. Can't come in unless they ring me first to open gate. I am cutting all apron strings and they can all kill each other instead of me.