Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Mack is all ready for rehab. He's still clean. His bag is packed. I purchased him the approved toiletries to take with him. Just waiting on that bed to open. He's calling everyday. I need him to go. Badly.
There are so many emotions building inside me. Anger and hurt is mixed with disbelief, denial, realization, sadness, disgust, fear, bitterness. This list goes on and on. But what I'm finding that as each day passes, the anger is slowly consuming me. I am SO angry. Angry at him. Angry at myself. Angry.
There are some days that I embrace the anger because the anger enables me to do what I need to do. It keeps me strong. Focused.
And then are some days when the anger scares me. I don't want to be this bitter harsh woman for the rest of my life. But I don't know how to get past it. I really don't.
Mack was complaining yesterday about all these scars he has. These scars that he put there himself from his drug use. All over his arms, hands, feet and even in his thighs. He said they will never go away. All I could think about were my own scars. I am emotionally scarred from this. You may not be able to see mine. But they run deep. I don't even think I can call them scars yet. My wounds are still open. And may never heal.
I didn't deserve this.
There are so many emotions building inside me. Anger and hurt is mixed with disbelief, denial, realization, sadness, disgust, fear, bitterness. This list goes on and on. But what I'm finding that as each day passes, the anger is slowly consuming me. I am SO angry. Angry at him. Angry at myself. Angry.
There are some days that I embrace the anger because the anger enables me to do what I need to do. It keeps me strong. Focused.
And then are some days when the anger scares me. I don't want to be this bitter harsh woman for the rest of my life. But I don't know how to get past it. I really don't.
Mack was complaining yesterday about all these scars he has. These scars that he put there himself from his drug use. All over his arms, hands, feet and even in his thighs. He said they will never go away. All I could think about were my own scars. I am emotionally scarred from this. You may not be able to see mine. But they run deep. I don't even think I can call them scars yet. My wounds are still open. And may never heal.
I didn't deserve this.
For me, I went back and forth with my anger. My husband was clean for 40 days and I was so bitter and angry at him. He was happy and feeling good about himself and here I was...just bitter and angry and resentful.
I'm mad at him for the hurt he caused me. He caused my family. The financial strain he put on me. He's now almost 60 days clean and still I struggle at times. It gets easier with time. That's the best advice I can give you. Give it time, give yourself time. You'll get there eventually...we all go through phases.
and once he is in, maybe then you can shout and scream and cry and eat icecream and then relax
(then get happy again, but mad first...) ;-)