Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
LONG BUT WORTH THE READ if you have a sick sense of humor as I do because I'm having to laugh this all off before I go CRAZY:
So as you know, our son has been doing AWESOME since the end of January, clean, sober, working, enjoying time with us at our new home, just sunshine and unicorns....then....the Ex MIL is now turning into a witch.
Long story short, ex hubby was an abuser, drunk and just mean, the mother with 13 warrants out for bouncing checks, manipulative and controlling, lies and believes them. The sister is crazy as bat poop. The other sister is NORMAL (good for her!)....hadn't seen them for 20 years. UGLY divorce, custody battle that I WON full custody and he had his visitation rights taken away for NOT SHOWING UP! NOR paying CHILD SUPPORT. I brought him to court once, they let him go to get his check book never to be seen again. So I walked away, never brought him back to court, went on with my life....20 years fast forward...our son was in jail, somehow they found out, wrote to him, promising him THE WORLD....he got out, befriended them and I silently stood by. The father stole his SSN and identity when he was 14 and tanked his credit. Good role model eh? Anyhow, for the past 5-6 years they've been in contact, when our son was at his lowest he was staying with the 'father' and then couldn't take it and left, when he od'd he called his GM and she got him to rehab, I was all thankful and never said anything bad, until it started, she wanted him to do this that and the other thing, controlling. Told him she'd drive him to court on a case, it was IMPERATIVE he show, he called her two days out to confirm and no reply, so he got a ride from someone else, then she says he never called her. He got ticked. She promised him a car to get to work with, never delivered, so now in sobriety he sees them for what they are....he called her out on it, told her not to call him anymore he didn't want anything to do with her. She kept showing up at the rehab unannounced.....they told her he wasn't there, so he sent her a message to say to stay away from him and from me....
She mailed me this toxic letter today....how I 'kidnapped' him and if it wasn't for her Mother she would've come after me...how is that? I had my phone number in EVERY phone book all those years. How I allowed him to be molested by my family? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And I allowed him to be an addict at age 14-15....REALLY? And that she thinks it was all because he is not her sons' child...OMG...And that I have noone to blame but myself. Oh and by the way, she writes, his gf is pregnant and not clean and he has lied all along....WHAT? She then left him a voicemail saying she was NOT his grandmother and to NEVEr call her again....NO PROBLEM CRAZY WITCH!
So THIS is how my day is going....so I called our son....
This kid, I feel for him, bought a car that needed work, getting it done, goes to get plates, has to pay back excise tax, has to find an apt by June 1st, and yes, the GF is pregnant but NO she is not using, she has been in a rehab facility for 30+ days now and getting the help she needs and yes he is standing by her and he was going to tell me on Mother's Day but was afraid of ruining the day with the news.
I just have to say when the IT hits the fan, it doesn't miss ONE SPOT now does it!
Sadly, this is bringing my 'dark place' back as his EX gf, years after they broke up, got pregnant, cleaned up, had the baby, married the babys' dad, and a year later overdosed and died....:(.....
My son is all excited about it. He really does love this girl, he has sent boundaries for them, that she is NOT to use ever again and that she MUST stay in this program for the full stay, no excuses and if she uses again he WILL leave her.
Me? I'm just not sure how to feel. I know my hubby will be having a cow later tonight.....this will go over like a fart in church! If he doesn't divorce me, I know he loves me.
I will not contact the crazy wench, she can stew in her own juices and MAYBE I will just cop to the lie she has told herself, that her grandson really isn't her grandson and maybe her and her son will leave us alone MIND YOU his 'birth father' has not picked up the phone to him in MONTHS now, only her....how odd is THAT? He doesn't work, he's home all day long, he's a nut case!
Can this day end now! Please? If I was a drinker, I'd be SLOSHED by now! Another cup of Concord Grape Crystal Light please?
So as you know, our son has been doing AWESOME since the end of January, clean, sober, working, enjoying time with us at our new home, just sunshine and unicorns....then....the Ex MIL is now turning into a witch.
Long story short, ex hubby was an abuser, drunk and just mean, the mother with 13 warrants out for bouncing checks, manipulative and controlling, lies and believes them. The sister is crazy as bat poop. The other sister is NORMAL (good for her!)....hadn't seen them for 20 years. UGLY divorce, custody battle that I WON full custody and he had his visitation rights taken away for NOT SHOWING UP! NOR paying CHILD SUPPORT. I brought him to court once, they let him go to get his check book never to be seen again. So I walked away, never brought him back to court, went on with my life....20 years fast forward...our son was in jail, somehow they found out, wrote to him, promising him THE WORLD....he got out, befriended them and I silently stood by. The father stole his SSN and identity when he was 14 and tanked his credit. Good role model eh? Anyhow, for the past 5-6 years they've been in contact, when our son was at his lowest he was staying with the 'father' and then couldn't take it and left, when he od'd he called his GM and she got him to rehab, I was all thankful and never said anything bad, until it started, she wanted him to do this that and the other thing, controlling. Told him she'd drive him to court on a case, it was IMPERATIVE he show, he called her two days out to confirm and no reply, so he got a ride from someone else, then she says he never called her. He got ticked. She promised him a car to get to work with, never delivered, so now in sobriety he sees them for what they are....he called her out on it, told her not to call him anymore he didn't want anything to do with her. She kept showing up at the rehab unannounced.....they told her he wasn't there, so he sent her a message to say to stay away from him and from me....
She mailed me this toxic letter today....how I 'kidnapped' him and if it wasn't for her Mother she would've come after me...how is that? I had my phone number in EVERY phone book all those years. How I allowed him to be molested by my family? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And I allowed him to be an addict at age 14-15....REALLY? And that she thinks it was all because he is not her sons' child...OMG...And that I have noone to blame but myself. Oh and by the way, she writes, his gf is pregnant and not clean and he has lied all along....WHAT? She then left him a voicemail saying she was NOT his grandmother and to NEVEr call her again....NO PROBLEM CRAZY WITCH!
So THIS is how my day is going....so I called our son....
This kid, I feel for him, bought a car that needed work, getting it done, goes to get plates, has to pay back excise tax, has to find an apt by June 1st, and yes, the GF is pregnant but NO she is not using, she has been in a rehab facility for 30+ days now and getting the help she needs and yes he is standing by her and he was going to tell me on Mother's Day but was afraid of ruining the day with the news.
I just have to say when the IT hits the fan, it doesn't miss ONE SPOT now does it!
Sadly, this is bringing my 'dark place' back as his EX gf, years after they broke up, got pregnant, cleaned up, had the baby, married the babys' dad, and a year later overdosed and died....:(.....
My son is all excited about it. He really does love this girl, he has sent boundaries for them, that she is NOT to use ever again and that she MUST stay in this program for the full stay, no excuses and if she uses again he WILL leave her.
Me? I'm just not sure how to feel. I know my hubby will be having a cow later tonight.....this will go over like a fart in church! If he doesn't divorce me, I know he loves me.
I will not contact the crazy wench, she can stew in her own juices and MAYBE I will just cop to the lie she has told herself, that her grandson really isn't her grandson and maybe her and her son will leave us alone MIND YOU his 'birth father' has not picked up the phone to him in MONTHS now, only her....how odd is THAT? He doesn't work, he's home all day long, he's a nut case!
Can this day end now! Please? If I was a drinker, I'd be SLOSHED by now! Another cup of Concord Grape Crystal Light please?
good. you son knows and will stay away from all of them
ok...the gf is pregnant. what happened to the ex gf does not have to happen again. they are separate. Don't project. don't worry.
and remember...none of this is happening to you or your husband. it is happening to your sober, hardworking, getting help son....and his sober girlfriend. and what better motivation to try to live sober/happily ever after? a baby.
god bless them all and you and hubby too.
and the old witch? she will miss out on all the glory and karma will kick her in the butt.