Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I am in the worst spot right now. As I have mentioned I have two sons who are addicts. One is doing fantastic in rehab. Really working hard. The second one (oldest) is being released from jail after a solid year and previous on and off for four years due to his heroin addiction.
He is due to be released on Wed. My peaceful life has now gone to being ready to throw up. He was living with me last two times and used and made life miserable. He has been an addict for 21 years. He has done nothing to make his life better by taking advantage of NA or anything jail had to offer.
I just called Parole as he asked me to pick him up. His options...a mens shelter until DSS can place him in a halfway house. Or I can once again pay for a small room somewhere. Or he stays here until he gets placed in a couple of days. That is my VERY last option.
My other son who is doing well is upset. I'm going to see his counselor tomorrow to help him with his feelings about all this. He loves him, but doesn't want to be around him. How can anyone blame him when I don't want to either.
I love my son. Hes not a good person. He has a criminal mind and in my opinion needs meds and long term treatment.
I feel like I'm drowning....I can't deal with all this. I've been so happy and me again. Now I am a ball of nerves. How does a mother drop her son at a shelter? It should be an easy do...yet it isn't.
He is due to be released on Wed. My peaceful life has now gone to being ready to throw up. He was living with me last two times and used and made life miserable. He has been an addict for 21 years. He has done nothing to make his life better by taking advantage of NA or anything jail had to offer.
I just called Parole as he asked me to pick him up. His options...a mens shelter until DSS can place him in a halfway house. Or I can once again pay for a small room somewhere. Or he stays here until he gets placed in a couple of days. That is my VERY last option.
My other son who is doing well is upset. I'm going to see his counselor tomorrow to help him with his feelings about all this. He loves him, but doesn't want to be around him. How can anyone blame him when I don't want to either.
I love my son. Hes not a good person. He has a criminal mind and in my opinion needs meds and long term treatment.
I feel like I'm drowning....I can't deal with all this. I've been so happy and me again. Now I am a ball of nerves. How does a mother drop her son at a shelter? It should be an easy do...yet it isn't.
We are BUILT to protect, to take care of our offspring.
Sadly, our prisons just 'release' them instead of putting them in a program, which is where he seems to be in need of.
I will pray that you find the answer you are looking for. It's time to listen to your 'gut' and not your heart. Our hearts tend to lead us astray, but our guts know the truth.
*hugs* again and loads of prayers your way!
My other sons counselor had him call me tonight. He said Mom...you know what you have to do for you. I'm taking care of me and you don't have to explain to him about staying away from me right now. I know whats best for me and I can handle this the way I know I have to.
I live by no negativity in my life anymore. This would be compromising everything I expect from them. I would be giving into an abusive addicts behavior. I can't do that. He isn't a child. He's 35 and time he learns bad behavior gets bad consequences.
He had a child I have never seen...nor has he. He is court ordered to pay child support...He never had. He owes $50,000. Let him tell me how he is my son and supposed to help. A child who is 12 goes without because of his addiction. Let him now go without. Thanks for reaching out to me and knocking sense back into my head.
you have to save yourself
This is his life, and one day you won't be there to "save" him...either he will change or he won't ...and if he doesn't he can't be at your home.
He is an adult.
doing things for him that he has to do for himself is wrong. it doesn't help. When he gets someplace, you can buy him a meal, or give him a case of toilet paper...
I am so sorry you are all under such stress.
making my son stand on his own was the best thing we could have done.
print out what you wrote and put it on your mirror.
you've got this.
Your daughter is so blessed she has you taking care of her kids. I'm a grandmother also to a beautiful little girl. So I know the love I have in my heart for her. I would do anything to always protect her. God Bless you for that.
I know the motherly instinct kicks in and I lose myself sometimes. Like today and prob again on Wednesday.
You say you deal with a smaller scale then I. We all deal on the same scale. We want to save our kids. There's nothing small dealing with an addict. Deep down your daughter doesn't want you to give in. She's just testing you. My son however (older one) would love nothing better then to move in and take over. Not happening. My life has been difficult for too many years. Thanks for the support. Same goes here for you as well.
Hugs,
Pat