Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Okay everyone, this is a rhetorical question, (no one can answer itbetter than the reply I just read from wish kitty on the discussion board ) but I am asking anyway ....WHAT IS UP WITH THIS STUPIDITY?
I have accepted the fact that AH will never be able to win this fight, all he manages to do is hone his manipulations , lies, etc. he is BRILLIANT at it.
I am not unaware of the game. He thinks I am clueless. I am able to detach effectively most of the time, and am simply moving on while trying to keep the drama to a minimum. Here is the problem ....... Detachment makes him uncomfortable, he wants pretend happiness.
When he is clearly drunk, he gets mad that I know and don't feel the need for perkiness. His new catch phrase is " why can't we just have a good day" or " I am just trying to have a good day".
If he was drinking on a Tuesday, he can't understand why I am still emotionally distant on Thursday.
Tonight there is a faint alcoholic scent in the air..... He is irritable blah, blah, blah....... He is upset with me because he "senses" I am " pissy".
Yes, so what? I ALMOST fell into the trap of worrying if he was angry at me.
So glad I caught myself in time before I got caught up in another round of useless fighting. I just got up ...washed the dishes.....and here I sit.
Thanks for listening.
I have accepted the fact that AH will never be able to win this fight, all he manages to do is hone his manipulations , lies, etc. he is BRILLIANT at it.
I am not unaware of the game. He thinks I am clueless. I am able to detach effectively most of the time, and am simply moving on while trying to keep the drama to a minimum. Here is the problem ....... Detachment makes him uncomfortable, he wants pretend happiness.
When he is clearly drunk, he gets mad that I know and don't feel the need for perkiness. His new catch phrase is " why can't we just have a good day" or " I am just trying to have a good day".
If he was drinking on a Tuesday, he can't understand why I am still emotionally distant on Thursday.
Tonight there is a faint alcoholic scent in the air..... He is irritable blah, blah, blah....... He is upset with me because he "senses" I am " pissy".
Yes, so what? I ALMOST fell into the trap of worrying if he was angry at me.
So glad I caught myself in time before I got caught up in another round of useless fighting. I just got up ...washed the dishes.....and here I sit.
Thanks for listening.
it's not about the storm,, but the ablitiy to dance in the rain,,,,, or dont let the circumstances comsume your ability to see the beauty that surrounds you,,,,
dont let the addicit control you,,,,, have a good day,,, each one is pricelss,,, it's a gift,, thats why it's called the present,,,,, dont dwell on the pass,,, ok ,, so he drinks on tuesday,,,, come thursday dont allow that to consume you,,,,, it's better to have joy,, then live in the bitterness of the disease,,, it then has hold on you
peace,,, sister
I love you all so much for the support.
You seem like you moved past anger and fear and got to a balanced place pretty quickly. My goal is to bypass the two and get to balanced without going thru the whole recital.
Hugs to you. Yes, focus on the positive...but sometimes dumping it in a journal is like taking out the trash...so like any tool, it is how we use it! Smile! (it drives others crazy)