In my opinion detox is only the first step. Your son needs rehab to learn how to stay away from drugs and coping skills to be able to stay away and stay clean. If you tell him he can't come back unless he agrees to a rehab program , do you think he will give in and do it? My daughter has gone to detox several times and went right back to using. Its so hard to turn them away but sometimes tough love is what is needed to wake them up and make them do what's needed. I wish you luck. I wish I could give you the answer but every person and situation is different.

Inpatient is his best chance of winning this battle . My daughter always used within day one of getting out of medical detox. This time we went straight to inpatient from detox and she has a much better outlook and plan for working her recovery. why did he go to detox? Was it on his own or because he was forced or co erced?

He went Friday night with strong persuasion from me and a couple of young people we know who are in active recovery for the same drug. I've told him he can't come back to my house unless he goes into treatment. He said he wasn't and that he would "figure something out". His attitude today when he called was very cocky....For example he said, "I'm not staying here another night." I just don't have a good feeling about this.

Your son sounds a lot like mine. The obstinate attitude, the "tough crap" responses to us. I forced inpatient rehab and he was walking out the door after 2 weeks. He managed to stay sober for about 10 minutes, because if they want to use, they will. As Dusty says, everyone is different and there is not one way to treat addiction.

Bottom line your son has to want recovery. He has to be in a program that he identifies with and is committed to. I threw my son out of the house for using again (4th relapse) and he is now under care of our Doctor and starting a therapist. He refuses a formal program, but "says" he wants to get better. I don't know what to believe anymore. Jimmy is on his own this time. He is officially homeless if he doesn't recover. Breaks my heart, but I have 2 other sons who have taken a backseat to Jimmy's addiction far too long.

I think it depends on the programs, both inpatient and outpatient.

The first in patient program that my son went to was for adolescents. That was pretty much lockdown. The second program was highly recommended, but visitors were free to come and go. There were plenty of drugs coming into the facility and my son had plenty of offers to go out into the parking lot to use heroin. If that's what's going on, then he's going to use.

An outpatient program can work if it's geared to opiate addiction and is combined with either methadone, Suboxone or Vivitrol. These three medications stop the cravings and make it impossible to get high on opiates while on them. An outpatient program simply based on counseling and/or group is going to take some time before working. The brain is not healed enough to accept and understand what is being taught and the cravings are likely to cause a relapse.

The two best options are in patient in a facility that makes it very difficult to bring drugs in (followed by outpatient and/or sober living) OR an outpatient program including methadone, Suboxone or Vivitrol, possibly combined with sober living.

My son was inpatient rehab and was released in May. He really tried for about 2 weeks then he relapsed. We have been trying to get him the Vivitrol injection. It just takes so much red tape. Last week he was arrested for petty theft twice in two different towns. He spent the night in jail. I firmly believe if he had the vivitrol this would not have happened.

I'm hoping your son is still in the program. My son after going thru a 7 day detox, got into a 6 month live in program. He lasted 4 days and called from a pay phone to say he'd been kicked out. The next 24 hours were the hardest and toughest I'd ever had to deal with. We refused to save him but gave him the address of another program in the same town. He called the next day to say he'd found it and miraculously allowed him in. It's been 3 years and I'm happy to say he is clean and sober.

He thanked us later for not saving him that day and that that's what allowed him to save himself.

Tough love saved my son. I hope this helps.

You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers.

He completed the detox but refuses to go to an inpatient facility. He did not go to his follow up outpatient appointment either. Transportation is an issue for him. He has no vehicle and all his "friends" are users. He does have a sponsor he's talked to each day. But, I still suspect he is using. Today, he is really, really down in the dumps and just wants to sleep.

Thank you all for the advice and support. I know he has to want to be clean before any kind of treatment will work. I also know that I am no good at "tough love". I just want my son back. I feel like I lost him a long time ago.

Oh I'm so sorry. I know it's incredibly hard to be tough. But if he knows that the safe place to land is always there he will not get help.

It's a process for you, and for your son.

Your in my thoughts and prayers.

I know it's hard to say "you can't come home" to your child but often times it's what's best for the addict (us too). There needs to be a point in which you take back your life and let him live his. Even if he's destroying his, it's his to destroy. By letting him back you are making the decision to take a front row seat to his choices. Detox isn't going to keep him off drugs.

I've let my son back more times than I should have. Finally he is in a great place mentally and doesn't want our help. That's a first. He is determined to do this with minimal assistance from us. Infact he has visited twice and both times turned down a ride back to his halfway house and opted for the train.

I know the thought of inpatient was very scary for my son but when he knew he had run out of options he went. Turned out to be the best choice. It was his 4th attempt but first time with sincerity.

I hope you find the strength to tell him no and that he in turn finds the strength to get help.