Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
So here's the good news....
My older son finished his 28 day program today. I drove him to St Christophers Inn. It is the most serene place I've even stepped foot in. The kindest cleanest place I've been to. So one foot in front of the other for him. 21 years of using and a lot of hurdles to jump. But it was nice chatting in the car with him clean. He's actually quite funny and handsome when he's clean. I can't recall seeing him this way in years. So extra prayers tonight.
The not so good...my other son relapsed. This time Xanax. Why it didn't show up in his urine test I have him is a puzzle to me. I watched him take it. But it did however at the sober house. So last night he was thrown out. He cannot go back. He's homeless right now. At this moment he is with his sponsor and at a meeting. Luckily I have all his money I'm holding. If it were heroin it would be gone.
I'm hoping he picks himself up and realizes what he stands to lose. I know a few on here have had their kids relapse so to try to describe how I feel right now is severe disappointment....anger and frustration.
One day I pray to know what it feels like to not live in constant fear of "the call". It's become a way of life for me. It's changed who I am. I do my best to be a positive person and not complain...but today I feel like getting in my car and driving so far away and never looking back. And logically I know I can't and won't because this is my family...this is my life and no matter where I go it will always be with me. I so pissed off right now. I know you all know.
My older son finished his 28 day program today. I drove him to St Christophers Inn. It is the most serene place I've even stepped foot in. The kindest cleanest place I've been to. So one foot in front of the other for him. 21 years of using and a lot of hurdles to jump. But it was nice chatting in the car with him clean. He's actually quite funny and handsome when he's clean. I can't recall seeing him this way in years. So extra prayers tonight.
The not so good...my other son relapsed. This time Xanax. Why it didn't show up in his urine test I have him is a puzzle to me. I watched him take it. But it did however at the sober house. So last night he was thrown out. He cannot go back. He's homeless right now. At this moment he is with his sponsor and at a meeting. Luckily I have all his money I'm holding. If it were heroin it would be gone.
I'm hoping he picks himself up and realizes what he stands to lose. I know a few on here have had their kids relapse so to try to describe how I feel right now is severe disappointment....anger and frustration.
One day I pray to know what it feels like to not live in constant fear of "the call". It's become a way of life for me. It's changed who I am. I do my best to be a positive person and not complain...but today I feel like getting in my car and driving so far away and never looking back. And logically I know I can't and won't because this is my family...this is my life and no matter where I go it will always be with me. I so pissed off right now. I know you all know.
Hugs
This ride sucks....for sure....but thankfully and sadly at the same point, we have this place.
Prayers for you and your sons.....
It's sad to hear about your other son, I know exactly how you feel. It's a good thing you do have his money because he'd have blown through that in a minute. At least he has a sponsor to lean on maybe he can give him some good advice. My daughter never even got that far she never got a sponsor or a support system.
This life we life because of addiction really sucks. There have been so many times I've wanted to get in the car and just keep driving but I don't for the same reason you don't, family.
You've given me such good advice and listened to me vent I feel bad that I don't have any advice to give you. Just try and stay strong, do something for yourself go take a bubble bath and relax your mind for a little bit. Sometimes that helps me, another thing I do is shut the phone off and put some soothing music on maybe that will calm you down a little.
I don't know if I can be any help but I'm here if you need me. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Pat
Heroin is very difficult to kick, so relapse is very common. I know that anger is a natural reaction, but it helps me to realize that addiction is a brain disease and it takes a while for the brain to heal. It also takes time for the addict to think clearly and mature emotionally after a period of sobriety. There may also be underlying issues like anxiety and depression that come to the surface. Meanwhile, there are strong cravings that can last up to 3 years. Frankly, it's a miracle if a person does not relapse at all during their recovery.
I"m saying that now on a calm day, but there are days that I feel exactly the same as you. There are times when I want to just write my son off and pretend that I never knew him. That's when this site is truly a godsend.
Hugs!
Honestly I just wanted to punch someone in the face. Sorry but that's how I felt. I wouldn't ever dream of doing that but that's how angry I've been. So I'm just reading a lot.
And definitely praying