oh marg I am soooo sorry. there are no words. thoughts and prayers as always for you and your family and for Justin. may God be with you in the days ahead. we are here xoxo

Marg I too am at a loss for words . I am truly sorry this happened. I just can't even imagine what you are going through. Here for you anytime love ya Dee

oh man. I am feeling for you. I am so sad. Angry at him. proud of you for sending your daughter off without drama.
I will light a candle for you in the morning. I am so sorry.

Momma, be strong,,, your son was saved from the streets of hell,, it does not matter what he has done,,take this time a relax, release and recharge,,, this may not be where we want to be,,, but it's better then where we could be,,,we got you covered sister,, the strength from this group is untouchable,,,,

Make no decision until you feel right about the answer,,,

Peace, momma

Maybe this is what he needs. As you said he has had numerous chances and still pushes a woman down to rob her. I know it hurts you, but this might be a good thing.

Marg, I too am brokenhearted for your pain, and also so sad for Justin, that this demon keeps creeping his way back into his life. You are so brave, and are a truly extraordinary women and I can only pray that God will guide you and your family. Always here sweetie.

Sweetie, I am sorry, but like our other friends, so proud of you.. Jordan was the priority at that time.. There was nothing you could do for Justin then.. Remember to breathe, and know that we are here for you.. I know I have that sense of relief that Sam is in jail, cuz he is alive and I now know where he is (5 months of not)... Sending love and prayers

Oh Marg I can totally feel the pain and agony your're going through - it's like living through the sudden death of a loved one; like a giant hole opened up swallowed your world and sucked the life and happiness out of of you. It was like that for me last year when my son (Paul) was arrested as an adult under similar circumstances for the 2nd time in 3 months; he was facing a 1/2 dozen felony charges in two different counties and close to 40 years plus due to his extensive juvenile record - all my hopes, dreams & prayers seemed to have been crushed and I was so lost it seemed like nothing would ever comfort me again. But that's where I was so totally wrong b/c I wasn't seeing the whole picture or God's plan for Paul's journey. Just like Justin Paul was out-of-control and self-destructing and could have ended up being shot dead by his actions or by an over zealous policeman. But I know now that it was by the grace of God's hand that he was spared and brought to a place where he had to face the reality and consequences of his choices.

My husband and I agreed to hire an attorney b/c not doing so would have landed him in a prison situation with no help or future. You see between having his lawyer work his case through the judicial process and my hour long conversation explaining all of Paul's mental health and drug abuse history with the court officer (liason between us & the judge, who called me trying to understand his case better after his lawyer presented it) was the person who ultimately made the sentence recommendation to the judge. Paul was sentenced to only a fraction of the time (2 years) and placed in the State's top facility for drug rehab. and is currently going through an extremely intense program. It's the kind of program we could never afford or would ever be covered by insurance.

He's been in now for just over 9 months, is working through the program, said he never wants to end up behind bars again and during his most recent call to me said words I never thought possible - "mom you were right about everything and I should have listened to you and dad."

Yes I'm sad and disappointed that my son's behind bars but on the other hand I'm overjoyed and blessed to no end that he's alive and finally seeing and feeling what his choices did to him and that he's finally getting the help & treatment he so desperately needs.

So you see Marg everything that's happening to your Justin is for a reason - a higher purpose that will hopefully help save him for a future. So in the meantime I encourage you to take Kim's advice and decompress from all the recent turmoil & chaos so you can gain strength and eventually find some peace & comfort. Above all, I think you're a great mom who did everything in your power to help Justin and now it's you're turn to rest...

~~Hugs and blessings across the cyber miles to your entire family~~

Oh, Marge, I, too, am SSOO sorry. I pray fo r your family... stay strong, and know that you CAN get through this... and keep seeking support ... we're here for you.

My prayers to ou and your family.

I am so sad to hear how things have turned out for your son! I have little to add to what Cyndee74 has said so well except to say that my son too has been where yours is right now, multiple times, and I have been where you are right now, multiple times. It's hard to see a silver lining when one hurts so badly, when there seems to be no hope and all one sees are obstacles and road blocks. But when the initial shock is over, and you can analyze things less emotionally, I hope you come to see this not as the end of a tragic road but the opening up of a new path forward. As I write this, I am reminded of hiking in the mountains of my home state (N.C). Occasionally, the main trail on a hike is impassable due to fallen trees or rocks, and to keep going the hiker has to find a way around the obstacle through denser, more difficult terrain. That's akin to what the addict and we parents have to do to keep going forward: look for a different path, otherwise we get stuck in place and have no way to go...except backwards.

You should be proud of how you handled your daughter's college move-in day. It showed a great deal of strength and consideration on your part. My son's addiction has affected many a family
occasion and after awhile, we have got to stop making everything about the addict or there's no life left for anyone else.

May God give you strength and peace in this time of chaos and pain.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope somehow, some good comes out of it.

I've been right where you were, helping one son buy a new car, just hours after finding my other son landed in the hospital, tied down, with seizures and screaming and multiple drugs in his system. I didnot want to rain on Car Son's big day, and so acted like all was fine, and indeed had to concentrate at the car dealer.
Do take care of yourself in this tough time--I don't think I took good enough care of myself, and would pass that one thought on to others. It was a strong thing to do, but I hope you can allow yourself some breathing space now.

Oh Marg,

I do feel for you with this turn of events. You have always been so positive, and a real inspiration to so many of us. I am so sorry for you and your family. it's reassuring to see how everyone is gathering around you in friendship and support, and will continue to do so as it sinks in. It sounds like you're in a bit of shock still.

This could happen to any of us, and that's why we're here for each other. You have so much strength, and it will serve you well, and you have the rest of your family standing with you. Big hugs to you as your story unfolds.

Marge I'm sorry to hear about this, I too have been where you are several times and it's devastating. I never thought I could make it through the 10 yrs my son served. I never thought the tears would stop and I had nobody for support because my family had all disowned him. Beantown is correct when the initial shock is over you can think more clearly, and your husband and yourself decide if you're going to hire a lawyer.I pray he is able to get into a facility where he can get the help he needs. I commend you for being able to set this aside and enjoy Jordan's special time. I lost focus of my daughter during that time and didn't even realize it. If I can be of any help please don't hesitate to contact me, there is another group here on DS that may be able to answer questions you may have. My heart goes out to you Marge, and your family. Hugs...Lori