Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Hey everybody,
I'm new here and this is my first post on this board. One of the people on the PTSD board recommended I reach out here after a post I made there. I'm going to copy what I wrote there:
I was just wondering how many of you have experience watching others self-destruct?
I have a person in my family who I keep in contact with because they are family. I am confident if they weren't family I would have nothing to do with them and I am plagued by the notion that if I don't keep tabs on them no one will (which is true).
This last year they left a relationship with their long-term partner because their partner was "too controlling." This translates into: he wanted her to consider enrolling in therapy to treat her disassociative identity disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder) and address her alcoholism, so she left him. They had been together for almost a decade.
This woman drank so much that she tested (false) positive FOR LUKEMIA. I didn't realize this was even possible until it happened and the hospital tried to keep her to treat her. Her old partner was concerned she would (literally) drink herself to death so he gave up alcohol and encouraged her to do the same. Her response was to leave him, because that's what she does any time one of her partners encourages her to seek self-help (this man was not the first).
This last weekend my family member moved and called in her older biological brother to help her. This wouldn't bother me if I didn't know they were sleeping together. I lived with her for a while and when I discovered what was going on I tried to explain to her this kind of familial relationship wasn't healthy. I understand they went through sexual abuse together at the hands of others and were forced to have sex together as children at gunpoint, but one is almost 50 and the other is over 50. Not only is this not normal, it's not healthy.
This family member recently suffered a psychotic snap (I approached them about the compound/Waco issue) and it lasted almost two days. I understand that the past, and maybe even that snap, plays into this but I don't feel like I can stand by and watch this kind of behavior continue, and feel at the same time I have to otherwise no one will. I think without me in their life expecting at least some modicum of good behavior, this person would fall off the deep end quickly and likely drink themselves to death.
It also bothers me that this person is now avoiding me because of what is going on with her brother and I just don't quite know how to handle this. I can't change her behavior but I can change how I respond to it (you know?).
I was just wondering if any of you go through this too, and how you approach these moments when they happen?
Also, thanks for all the sort space guys!
I'm new here and this is my first post on this board. One of the people on the PTSD board recommended I reach out here after a post I made there. I'm going to copy what I wrote there:
I was just wondering how many of you have experience watching others self-destruct?
I have a person in my family who I keep in contact with because they are family. I am confident if they weren't family I would have nothing to do with them and I am plagued by the notion that if I don't keep tabs on them no one will (which is true).
This last year they left a relationship with their long-term partner because their partner was "too controlling." This translates into: he wanted her to consider enrolling in therapy to treat her disassociative identity disorder (formerly multiple personality disorder) and address her alcoholism, so she left him. They had been together for almost a decade.
This woman drank so much that she tested (false) positive FOR LUKEMIA. I didn't realize this was even possible until it happened and the hospital tried to keep her to treat her. Her old partner was concerned she would (literally) drink herself to death so he gave up alcohol and encouraged her to do the same. Her response was to leave him, because that's what she does any time one of her partners encourages her to seek self-help (this man was not the first).
This last weekend my family member moved and called in her older biological brother to help her. This wouldn't bother me if I didn't know they were sleeping together. I lived with her for a while and when I discovered what was going on I tried to explain to her this kind of familial relationship wasn't healthy. I understand they went through sexual abuse together at the hands of others and were forced to have sex together as children at gunpoint, but one is almost 50 and the other is over 50. Not only is this not normal, it's not healthy.
This family member recently suffered a psychotic snap (I approached them about the compound/Waco issue) and it lasted almost two days. I understand that the past, and maybe even that snap, plays into this but I don't feel like I can stand by and watch this kind of behavior continue, and feel at the same time I have to otherwise no one will. I think without me in their life expecting at least some modicum of good behavior, this person would fall off the deep end quickly and likely drink themselves to death.
It also bothers me that this person is now avoiding me because of what is going on with her brother and I just don't quite know how to handle this. I can't change her behavior but I can change how I respond to it (you know?).
I was just wondering if any of you go through this too, and how you approach these moments when they happen?
Also, thanks for all the sort space guys!
Given what seems to be a severe Family Dysfunction, treatment is the only way. Was she baker acted for her psychotic episode? She obviously needs professional help. Look into the marchman act and see if there's something similar in your state and file asap!
You're bothered that a sick person is avoiding you? You may also want to join al-anon or see a psychologist yourself. You don't want to get sick like the addict. Also here's a good read:
http://jaggedlittleedges.com/2015/08/i-love-you-to-death-3/
Good luck and please get healthy.
If they are avoiding you, that is another choice they are making to live the life they want...or think they want.
I would pray for them, put them in God's hands and tell them you love them. If they ever want help, you can be there.
we didn't cause it, we can't control it and we can't cure it.
That can't always be achieved alone so I suggest trying to get help and support from professionals. We're all in this together as there are no promises. We're learning as we go and can't keep up w/ the effect drug trafficiking is afflicting upon our country. What is Government doing?