No, you don't have it wrong. Addicts are VERY good at appearing normal to others. They put on quite the acting job. They can adjust their behavior well in front of some people, and others they let it all hang out. Don't doubt yourself or your boundaries. Your mom is in denial about her granddaughter. Your daughter is being manipulative, so she can have her grandma on her side & make you look like the crazy one. I've been through this, but my SISTER is the one who fed the fire. Stand your ground! Hang in there!

I agree. My X is several different people - often in the course of one day. I think this is crazy making for those of us who love addicts. You never know which one you are dealing with. You never know what is true.

Keep your boundaries...could very well be that she is CLEAN right now if she just got out of hosp on Saturday. Hopefully, she will stay clean but only time will tell.

And you will know. Say a prayer for your little girl..keep doing things that take care of you and as hard as it is stay strong.

I know all about the sleepless nights, the worry, anxiety and pain. Take care of you and hopefully the rest will follow.

I have seen this in my son, sometimes he can be this sweet, considerate person and at others he is I am sorry to say a monster. It usually depends on what he wants at the time unfortunately. it sounds like your daughter is doing the same. Keep strong and look after your self.

You are absolutely right about 2 different people in 1
I can't stand it so I stay away from them as much as possible and I think it is so sad and outrageous that we have to deal with this and all we can do is wait till they are ready to change!!
I can no longer say things like I know him enough to know he would never do this or that!
From what I have seen the addict will & has shocked me...I have no trust in them. How can we ever trust them since they are such good liars and manipulators??
Remember there are many functioning/working everyday addicts who may appear like average people but they go home and create hell in their families who see that other person that many others may not see. Stay as far away from them as you need to...keep yourself sane.

Keep in mind that addicts feel normal after they have used drugs. At some point the drugs stop making them get high. It just makes them feel normal. They turn into monsters when they start craving the drugs and are desperate.

I finally figured out that if my son appeared perfectly normal and sober, it was a pretty good sign that he had recently used opiates. I started looking at the pupils of his eyes and saw that they were pinpoint. I also notice that he's a different person after he smokes marijuana. That person is extremely easy going and eats a lot. When he used benzos, he was similar to the person he becomes when drunk--mean and obnoxious. So, it's not just a sober vs. "using" personality difference. It's a factor of what drug he's using at the time.

If she was just hospitalized on Saturday for drugs, then if she were clean, she probably would still be feeling sick and anxious. She would not appear normal. it's much more likely that she used again.

I also agree that addicts are very good at being manipulative.

any more thoughts about this topic..so confusing
at this point I believe nothing that the addicts in my family say..at the point I do not want to talk at all to them
should I just accept that the only communication I can have with them is extremely casual
Seems just about impossible for me to talk to a family member in this way but I do not trust the addicts one bit due to what they have done and have proven they are capable of
Doesn't matter if using or not...why would I believe they are not using when they have always lied before
From what I have seen, they can act and appear normal when they want to but that other extremely different person is right below the surface