Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Focusing on someone else is a real problem for codependents. Letting go isnt easy. Turning that around so that your focus is on you doesnt make you selfish; in fact, its showing respect for someone elses autonomy and boundaries. Here are some practical things you can do to:
When youre together, remember not to watch the other person.
Dont obsess or worry about him or her. Imagine putting the person in Gods hands or surrounded by healing light. Send them love.
Dont judge others, just as you dont want to be judged.
Dont have expectations of others; instead, meet expectations of yourself.
You didnt cause someone elses behavior. Others are responsible for their behavior, and youre only responsible for yours.
Write about your feelings in a journal. Read it to someone close to you or a therapist.
Practice mediation or spirituality.
Pursue your own interests and have fun.
Remember you cannot change or fix someone else. Only he or she has the power to do so.
Take a time out. If youre starting to react to someone or are in an argument, its a good idea to step away and take some time to think things over. A good idea is to write in your journal.
Write positive things about yourself in your journal every day. Look for things you did well or like about yourself, and write them down.
Take the labels off. Sometimes, you can have expectations and make assumptions about someone very close to you which you wouldnt of a friend. Ask yourself how you would treat the other person if he or she wasnt your partner or parent.
Please feel free to message me :)
When youre together, remember not to watch the other person.
Dont obsess or worry about him or her. Imagine putting the person in Gods hands or surrounded by healing light. Send them love.
Dont judge others, just as you dont want to be judged.
Dont have expectations of others; instead, meet expectations of yourself.
You didnt cause someone elses behavior. Others are responsible for their behavior, and youre only responsible for yours.
Write about your feelings in a journal. Read it to someone close to you or a therapist.
Practice mediation or spirituality.
Pursue your own interests and have fun.
Remember you cannot change or fix someone else. Only he or she has the power to do so.
Take a time out. If youre starting to react to someone or are in an argument, its a good idea to step away and take some time to think things over. A good idea is to write in your journal.
Write positive things about yourself in your journal every day. Look for things you did well or like about yourself, and write them down.
Take the labels off. Sometimes, you can have expectations and make assumptions about someone very close to you which you wouldnt of a friend. Ask yourself how you would treat the other person if he or she wasnt your partner or parent.
Please feel free to message me :)
But good reminders.
Once you do, and you focus on yourself, you'll only then be able to come out of, what I lovingly refer to as: The Dark Place.
I had been in that Dark Place one too many times. Just recently as a matter of fact, BUT I had to post, I did a journal entry, I took a deep breath, I did for ME and then was able to come back to The Light. And when I did? I was able to focus on what I needed to do for ME, did it and found out the truth of the matter at hand and that it was all okay, it was my Dark Place taking over and spinning me out of control and I allowed it, instead of the deep breath, think for a moment and proceed.
Sadly, addicts in progress don't realize how many people they effect around them. And until WE, the people around them, realize that we CAN'T allow them to effect us, can we survive.
Don't give up Misssy2, keep working at it, it ain't easy, but the best things in life aren't right? ;)
I'm not giving up....i'm in intense therapy and right now we are working on baby steps of me backing away from my oldest son.
However, I did REALLY BAD yesterday...I enabled and babied...and went totally backwards....lol.
Not really funny its killing me....so I am working on changing...and it is WORK and it is PAINFUL....I don't have the word NO in my vocabulary unless it comes to ME.
I live opposite of what is good for me...so yes, I have some work to do and I can't give up.
Hugs out to you! You can do this! Remember, you're not in the boat alone, we're all here with you....we'll keep passing you the oar....;) We'll get there!