Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
The struggle of watching our loved ones struggle is overwhelming at times. My son is 22 sober addict not really sure if I can say recovering addict more like a dry drunk only not using ( I think) because of the ultimatums placed on him by us as far as living in our home and his boss as far as keeping his job.
I get so tired of watching the CONSTANT bad choices of every day life.
My sons girlfriend is a complete lunatic. Drug problems family problems pathological liar can't keep a job disrespectful to me in my own home ( no longer on that one because she is permantly banned from here) but it has been two years of complete hell from this girl. Yet he still continues to date her and dote on her every demand until he blows up!
Last week was the final straw for me as yet they continued to argue in my home ( verbally) but I asked them to leave only to have a louder confrontation take place outside my home at 530 in the morning.
Why does he stay with this girl?????? I don't get it. I'm so damn sick and tired of this shit. It's like a broken record over and over again.
Two years ago this coming January my son was arrested for selling cocaine to his " friend" it turns out the "friend" set him up to get himself out of his own recent arrest but that's ok my son did it and he deserved to be arrested. I was actually glad he got arrested because at that point he was not living home was really using a lot of drugs and it may have saved his life. Not to mention he needed to learn a serious lesson that what he was doing was not ok. Well he had no record at all so was given a chance through drug rehab program which he did with flying colors throughout the year of the court appointed program the judge even congratulated him upon completion that very few make it through with no slip ups however the second he was released from the court he went on a two month drug party where he racked up a ton of credit card debt to pay for his binge. Well he finally came clean to his father and I and told us what was going on although I had noticed numerous red flags and had strong suspicions he would deny it start fights storm off etc.. I know typical. Any how the last two months he has been clean from drugs but still making bad choices in every other aspect of his life. The girlfriend money staying up too late when he has to be up at 4 am for work etc etc . I just sit here wondering what the hell is wrong with him. Does he have brain damage from all he's done to himself ? Is there an underlying medical problem that he has? I could go on and on but there's no point. He completely admits his poor choices and says he doesn't know why he does it so I guess he will either mature enough ( hopefully) to the point where he recognizes things ahead of time or he will continue to go down the drain. I pray he wakes up and realizes it before he loses everything ( his great job his place to live and most importantly his life) so frustrating !!!!
I get so tired of watching the CONSTANT bad choices of every day life.
My sons girlfriend is a complete lunatic. Drug problems family problems pathological liar can't keep a job disrespectful to me in my own home ( no longer on that one because she is permantly banned from here) but it has been two years of complete hell from this girl. Yet he still continues to date her and dote on her every demand until he blows up!
Last week was the final straw for me as yet they continued to argue in my home ( verbally) but I asked them to leave only to have a louder confrontation take place outside my home at 530 in the morning.
Why does he stay with this girl?????? I don't get it. I'm so damn sick and tired of this shit. It's like a broken record over and over again.
Two years ago this coming January my son was arrested for selling cocaine to his " friend" it turns out the "friend" set him up to get himself out of his own recent arrest but that's ok my son did it and he deserved to be arrested. I was actually glad he got arrested because at that point he was not living home was really using a lot of drugs and it may have saved his life. Not to mention he needed to learn a serious lesson that what he was doing was not ok. Well he had no record at all so was given a chance through drug rehab program which he did with flying colors throughout the year of the court appointed program the judge even congratulated him upon completion that very few make it through with no slip ups however the second he was released from the court he went on a two month drug party where he racked up a ton of credit card debt to pay for his binge. Well he finally came clean to his father and I and told us what was going on although I had noticed numerous red flags and had strong suspicions he would deny it start fights storm off etc.. I know typical. Any how the last two months he has been clean from drugs but still making bad choices in every other aspect of his life. The girlfriend money staying up too late when he has to be up at 4 am for work etc etc . I just sit here wondering what the hell is wrong with him. Does he have brain damage from all he's done to himself ? Is there an underlying medical problem that he has? I could go on and on but there's no point. He completely admits his poor choices and says he doesn't know why he does it so I guess he will either mature enough ( hopefully) to the point where he recognizes things ahead of time or he will continue to go down the drain. I pray he wakes up and realizes it before he loses everything ( his great job his place to live and most importantly his life) so frustrating !!!!
I think their hormones just make them stupid at that age. seriously. how many young men from 18 to about 24 are just doing such ridiculous things???.
dr. phil would say----what's in it for him, for this behavior?
I think his self loathing makes him open to her manipulations. maybe he even has the drama mixed up for passion.
I hope he wakes up too.
Meanwhile...it seems like he is starting to at least see there is a problem...so that could be the first step.
Love ya.
So I get the hands full. Two addicts and them. I
Must have really screwed up in a past life.
My 23 year old son is off the opiates and pills (to my knowledge) and has been on methadone, then Suboxone, for nearly three years. He continues to smoke lots of marijuana and to drink alcohol. He's not in any sort of a program and doesn't really see a problem with the weed and alcohol.
The problem is that he seems to have been treading water for the past few years. He's off the opiates and pills and hasn't gotten into trouble with the law for some time now, but he does absolutely nothing to move his life forward. We kicked him out and put him into an efficiency on a bus line almost two years ago. It took months for him to get comfortable taking a bus and to find a job. Now he has had a series of server's assistant jobs, working part-time, while contributing almost nothing to his own support. Six weeks ago he was fired from his last job, which he managed to hold for 10 months. It seems that he does very little to actually apply for jobs. If I fill out an online application for him, he'll be thrilled when he gets an interview and he'll go. But, he won't actually fill out the applications himself.
He keeps promising to get his court-ordered assessment from an AODA counselor so he can get back on track to getting his driver's license, which he lost two years ago. He also has promised to go to the doctor to seek treatment for depression and anxiety as well as the chest pains that really scare him. But, he doesn't call. If he actually makes an appointment for the doctor or an eye exam or the dentist, he's a guaranteed no-show.
Last summer he decided to start college and enrolled in 3 classes. Within weeks he dropped all 3.
I co-signed his lease because he agreed to a set of conditions, which he is not following. He doesn't have anyone to move in with and doesn't have enough income to rent on his own. No one will rent to him without a co-signer. I don't want to co-sign, but I know that If I don't, he will definitely be homeless. He takes essentially no initiative. I don't have any idea if it's depression and anxiety or something else. I have no idea what he does with himself all day and picture him just laying around in his messy apartment watching TV and smoking cigarettes and weed.
In less than 3 years he will be off our health insurance. I'd also like to retire in the next few years and need to stop having him be so dependent on me. I really feel like he's a toddler living on his own!