My son is an opiate/heroin addict. He's been through home detox and medical detox, both were unsuccessful. He has been going to NA and AA meetings and will start IOP as soon as we can work through all the red tape of dealing with the insurance company. I believe he has the desire to quit and get clean. I watched him over the weekend going through withdrawals as I've seen so many times before. I was not surprised when he relapsed last night....angry, hurt, disappointed yes, but not surprised. Yesterday was great...he got his old job back because his boss sees something redeemable in him, he enrolled in the local community college and was approved for financial aid. We went for a nice long walk. Things seemed to be coming together and going well until addiction reared its' nasty head last night when I caught him using in the bathroom at my house. In my rage I told him to get out!!!! Of course, he had every excuse under the sun as to what he was doing in the bathroom. I know better because I saw it with my own eyes and found his needle and spoon. After I calmed down I told him that it was one of two things....he had a lot of nerve to use in my house OR he just could not deal with the physical cravings for heroin, subutex or whatever it was he was trying to shoot into his body. I understand that an addict has physical cravings but I also know that if he truly has a desire to quit and stay clean that it is not impossible. Once again, I've insisted he go to meetings, begin treatment as soon as possible, work and go to school. Am I expecting too much out of him? Is he going to be able to handle all of this in the condition he is currently in? Work, school, treatment, meetings.....I just want my child back and for use to have a normal and peaceful life! But I'm beginning to believe that this roller coaster we are on is our "normal life"...normal but definitely not peaceful.