Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I have to write this down before I lose my mind. So our 25 year old who is an addict and mentally ill is now living at home for the time being.
He is sleeping on the couch. He has nothing but the clothes on his back. He is taking his meds (4 different ones) everyday and going to his three hour Intensive outpatient treatment classes 3 nights a week. He acts like he is about 12 years old. But all of this is ok with me. He is alive, he is asking and recieving help. He is really trying for the first time in his life to get better. He is admitting that he is sick and powerless and therefore I am willing to help.
The problem is his 18 year old sister. Who is a senior in highschool and has always been an amazing girl.
She is in the process of applying to all these colleges and she is freaking out about everything. She has NO sympathy for her brother she thinks he is a jerk and he is in the way and why can't we focus more on her and why did we not tell her she would need to do more extra curricular activities for her applications???? She is making the tension level in our house rediculous. We understand that she is stressed but she is taking it out on her brother and dad and me and her little brother she has him in tears all the time. I guess this is the payback we get for the 18 years that she was so perfect but oh my gosh is she a pain!!
She is positive she will never get into any college and that she will be stuck going to our local community college and if that really happens all of us are going to lose our minds!!
He is sleeping on the couch. He has nothing but the clothes on his back. He is taking his meds (4 different ones) everyday and going to his three hour Intensive outpatient treatment classes 3 nights a week. He acts like he is about 12 years old. But all of this is ok with me. He is alive, he is asking and recieving help. He is really trying for the first time in his life to get better. He is admitting that he is sick and powerless and therefore I am willing to help.
The problem is his 18 year old sister. Who is a senior in highschool and has always been an amazing girl.
She is in the process of applying to all these colleges and she is freaking out about everything. She has NO sympathy for her brother she thinks he is a jerk and he is in the way and why can't we focus more on her and why did we not tell her she would need to do more extra curricular activities for her applications???? She is making the tension level in our house rediculous. We understand that she is stressed but she is taking it out on her brother and dad and me and her little brother she has him in tears all the time. I guess this is the payback we get for the 18 years that she was so perfect but oh my gosh is she a pain!!
She is positive she will never get into any college and that she will be stuck going to our local community college and if that really happens all of us are going to lose our minds!!
It takes time to heal and to fully realise what mental illness and addiction really are. Your son is your son. To her it's her brother. And yes, he is in the way. He's been in the way for as long as he had issues. Being 18 years old doesn't mean you're a fully grown person. You still need guidance, a hand and support.
You've all be through a lot. To me, it's obvious she needs you and that it's fear, stress and insecurity talking.
My kids they were hurt by their sisters behavior, although had a mother we love unconditionally, learn to forgive , however once again we can not control the feelings or thoughts if others
Time heals,,, and actions speak louder then words, until Justin shows in actions, it will take your daughter time to forgive and accept your sons illness,,, see its hard for people to understand what drugs does to the brain, and how they become mentally ill,,, unfortunately you can not see that through the naked eye,,,
Just keep being positive,,, don't constantly remind her of Justin problems,, and don't be consumed with Justin ,
I hope this has not offended you,, but I'm going through the same
Taylor is 17, junior in high school, and was accepted into the dual program,, she attends High school in the morning and college in the afternoon, she will have her associates degree , before she graduated from high school,,, I should if thrown her a party, but at that moment I was searching to fix my addict,,,,
Love ya momma
You get the greatest rewards,, but the hardest job on earth, is being a mom!!!
Her anxiety is just being magnified.
Of course it should be all about her, she didn't do anything wrong! and she is "divorcing you" to go to college...so many emotional things going on.
this is when, as mommy, we get to be the YODA and stay "calm" on the outside, and DETACH from her too! look at it objectively as if from far, far away. Acknowlege her angst. Try to give separate time for each....just like they are 2 or 3 years old.
She will say thoughtless, selfish things from now until she goes to college. Sorry. Seems like she already thought of her worst case senario...with my daughter, I made her talk about the worst and how we would handle it (get an apartment?) and then went on to focus on how to get the best results.
So normal, just not at a normal time in your lives...
THen one day, the house is empty and you get to go thru empty nest syndrome...and be sad for a while...then, after a year, you do alot of ((((happy dance!)))).
It shall pass. hugs, momma....you can do this too.
My two little ones are my heart and soul and they have been struggling with Justin being back and having to share mom again.
Soon my husband asked to joib us and said Justin was downstairs sleeping on the couch and he wanted to be with all of us. Man I was popular last night. I am so blessed to have such a fabulous family who loves and needs me so much...