Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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/ Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

The blame game

iroclove
iroclove
I think I've had about all I can stand, and I have to let it out grrrrr... So It's somehow my fault my addict has probation. "If you didn't call the law on me, then I wouldn't be on probation." Well lets see.. if you didn't have a gun to your head, waving it around, making threats, and shooting it off, then I wouldn't have to call the law.. DUH!! So sorry mister, you have crossed your own T's and dotted your own I's due to your lack of sobriety. You did this to yourself!

Whew.. Sorry I had to get that out.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The addict always blames someone else otherwise they would have to accept the fact that they are the problem. They will constantly make your life a living hell but is never their fault. You did the right thing and I think you realize that, it is just very frustrating to say the least.
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
iroclove-
You are absolutely 100% correct.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh my!! That must have been terrifying for you. I am so sorry that happened to you. I would have called the cops too.
It seems to me that it is easier to blame the people who care about than the true cause of the problem. My addict has blamed me for anything and everything.
cardinal39
cardinal39
Well if course it's our fault ,,, they are the victims,,, I was just told that they I should allow her to be home ( at least it's safe and off the streets) and if she wants to get high,, have her step outside and go down the street,,, because everyone she talks to,,, would do this,, so yea blame me,,, that after the third time,, we agreed,, that if she uses,, she chooses to leave,.,,,

Yep the blame game !!!!,,,

Just remain calm,,, and keep conversation to 15 words,, otherwise they will pick out certain words ( they want) and blame you!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yep, major victim mentality from my AH as well as the blame game. He got on me a few months ago because I 'almost' called him the night he got his DUI. How does that make sense? He was blaming me for his suspended license and other related fallout things and then decided to be angry at me for something I 'almost' did, LOL!

I think, for me, the hardest part of addictive thinking for me to mentally and emotionally handle is the blame game and the lying.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree, I had posted in the heroin addicts forum asking for someone to please explain to me what purpose in their emotional state does blaming others have, some sort of defense mechanism/?? The other thing that drives me crazy is that everything is justified in their minds. For example bf left kids with a different neighbor who I had not approved to go with a friend to get some weed. His justification, it was only a 10 dollar bag of weed, I was only gone an hour... I have done much worse before so this is nothing.. on and on. How is someone so morally blind to things, and why???