Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I live on a reservation. I have been raised by alcoholics, sitting out in front of bars until 2 am in the morning, 9 yrs old driving my drunk mom home so we don't wreck, sitting out in the car until she wakes up to go in the house. Scared to leave her out in the car alone.
Watching my sister go through huffing, smoking, drinking, shooting up, and now watching her suffer from Meth addiction along with several family members.
Now Meth is the drug of choice around here as well as other places I guess. It's destroying my family.
I have gone to not owning any valuables because it gets stolen and sold for drugs.
I don't keep cash, I use debit cards, and credit cards only. When asked for money its for beer or drugs.
I currently am with a pot head, and most of my money goes on bills, and necessities, but I struggle every month because his pot comes first. I have tried to cut him off, but he uses his mom to get to me so I have to give him money. i.e. she gave my kids clothes in trade for money or hand made items. I have tried to talk to her, but he is an only child and he is the apple of her eye, and does no wrong.
Sometimes I just want to leave the reservation and move my children away to a place where we can live in peace. But our roots are here, our traditions and our heritage. I love my reservation, but I am having trouble with all the addiction that surrounds me.
It's so hard to be clean and sober when everyone around you is drowning in addiction. I am to the point where I am drinking more now than I ever have. I noticed just recently that I drink 3 days out of the month. That is way too much for me. I have made a choice to quit. It has been ongoing for about 2 yrs now. I can't live like this anymore. Change needs to happen. I can't change them, but I can change me.
Thank you for listening.
Watching my sister go through huffing, smoking, drinking, shooting up, and now watching her suffer from Meth addiction along with several family members.
Now Meth is the drug of choice around here as well as other places I guess. It's destroying my family.
I have gone to not owning any valuables because it gets stolen and sold for drugs.
I don't keep cash, I use debit cards, and credit cards only. When asked for money its for beer or drugs.
I currently am with a pot head, and most of my money goes on bills, and necessities, but I struggle every month because his pot comes first. I have tried to cut him off, but he uses his mom to get to me so I have to give him money. i.e. she gave my kids clothes in trade for money or hand made items. I have tried to talk to her, but he is an only child and he is the apple of her eye, and does no wrong.
Sometimes I just want to leave the reservation and move my children away to a place where we can live in peace. But our roots are here, our traditions and our heritage. I love my reservation, but I am having trouble with all the addiction that surrounds me.
It's so hard to be clean and sober when everyone around you is drowning in addiction. I am to the point where I am drinking more now than I ever have. I noticed just recently that I drink 3 days out of the month. That is way too much for me. I have made a choice to quit. It has been ongoing for about 2 yrs now. I can't live like this anymore. Change needs to happen. I can't change them, but I can change me.
Thank you for listening.
Sounds like you do your own self medicating to deal with all the stresses in your life. We talk about one addiction replacing another...with your past history of eating disorders, sounds like gambling and occasional binge drinking is your replacement.
I totally understand about leaving family and traditions behind. My husband moved us 8 hours away from our closest relatives 16 years ago (his job). BUT, I travel back often, and still make it a point to participate in our family traditions.
I know someone who adopted a child mostly native american. The dad is in prison for something he did while wasted, and his mom would be if they could find her. She wanted her child raised away from the environment her other kids were experienceing. It turned out to be a good thing because he has some learning difficulties, and he gets a ton of services...and many would not be available on the reservation. I understand also that culturally the introduction of alcohol to the reservations showed a genetic weakness to the exposure to alcohol that destroyed many lives.
so besides cultural and genetic predispositions to alcohol issues, you have a partner who sets you up to loose much needed money, and you had a tough childhood. Is there an al-anon group that meets there? support for the non addicted?
Running away from problems only brings them to a new location...that being said, I would think about living somewhere else too- only because I wouldn't want my kids in the same pattern.
I think you might also want to join the alcoholism board, and perhaps the one alcohol recovery without AA....and maybe some of those people with more experience could offer help.
Sounds like you have a great way of handling the cash/debit/credit- and maybe straight out telling your partner's mom that you will not be giving her ANY money unless YOU arrange it, not him...would be the best way of handling that part of the equation.
Welcome, come back, hope we can be of help or support.
I am so glad you are here on the site and hope we can be supports for you - wherever you choose to live, or stay.