Well I must be getting stronger. For the second time in a week I have handled my addict with strength that I didn't know I had. Last week I told her no over several days that I would not pick her up. The words just flowed out of my mouth.
The last time I heard from my addict was last week. So on my way on home from al anon last night I received a call from my addict. She was at my house and had no where to go. She had lost the key to the house where she is staying. I said no, she said I will ask dad, who was in bed.
Well driving home I said to myself I'm not going home. I don't want to deal with this, let my husband do it. However I stopped, prayed and asked God for help.
I went home to find my husband and daughter screaming and crying. He told her if she didn't leave he would call the police. This strength came out of me I walked over told my daughter to get her purse, that I would take her to the homeless shelter. I didn't defend her or try to convince my husband to let her stay.
I told her in the car it had to stop that I loved her but I also loved myself.
She asked me to try to see if her land lord was home, she was.
I felt so strong and protective of my husband. I dropped her off after speaking with her, she said she needed me to help figure out her car situation and she needed a ride to the grocery store. I said no to both..
I said take the bus,
I told her I would see her at Christmas for breakfast.
I came home to a crying husband and I sat down an cried my eyes out.
But it hurts to the very core of my existence, I thank god for giving me strength. I will take it one day at a time. Please pray for me and everyone who is on the journey of hell.