Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
so as some of you know my son relapsed a week before his sisters wedding. No surprise there. He has relapsed 100 times. This time was different because he had honestly and wholeheartedly been trying....
I think the hardest thing about raising a child who is an addict is that somewhere along the way we are supposed to stop parenting them.and as good moms and dads we have been raised to do everything in our power to help our children. But with addicted kids we have to say no we can't help you, we can't fix this we have to make them learn independence in a way we never thought we would have to. To me it went against everything I ever thought about good parenting. I was not a super mom who did everything for my kids but I was an ok mom who was there when they needed me, but an addict will take their needs to an extreme and take and take way past the point of a normal child... And then one day you realize this child is taking up every bit of what I have and leaving me with nothing for the rest of my kids or husband or myself. And you learn to stop and somehow you pray that they figure out they have to grow up and fix their own problems and most of the addicts are so ill equipt at this... Its such a dilemma for us as parents. We were raised to make all their troubles go away and yet they can't get well until we stop. My son is sitting in jail. I have not been to visit I have had no contact with him. I am waiting for him to realize HE has to write to me, he has to try to help himself. I always told him if you get yourself in jail you are on your own in there I can't fix it nor would I if I could and it sucks for me and for him because I want to help but I know I can't....
I think the hardest thing about raising a child who is an addict is that somewhere along the way we are supposed to stop parenting them.and as good moms and dads we have been raised to do everything in our power to help our children. But with addicted kids we have to say no we can't help you, we can't fix this we have to make them learn independence in a way we never thought we would have to. To me it went against everything I ever thought about good parenting. I was not a super mom who did everything for my kids but I was an ok mom who was there when they needed me, but an addict will take their needs to an extreme and take and take way past the point of a normal child... And then one day you realize this child is taking up every bit of what I have and leaving me with nothing for the rest of my kids or husband or myself. And you learn to stop and somehow you pray that they figure out they have to grow up and fix their own problems and most of the addicts are so ill equipt at this... Its such a dilemma for us as parents. We were raised to make all their troubles go away and yet they can't get well until we stop. My son is sitting in jail. I have not been to visit I have had no contact with him. I am waiting for him to realize HE has to write to me, he has to try to help himself. I always told him if you get yourself in jail you are on your own in there I can't fix it nor would I if I could and it sucks for me and for him because I want to help but I know I can't....
and what do you do with the headspace after the addict...andthen, one day ALL the kids are gone? Geez, that must be the empty nest syndrome they talk about.
We spend our lives devoted to others, then we have to learn a whole new way to live.
Marge,,, thanks for posting that,, to all of us,,, may the pain of addiction surrender