Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
its been 6 months lf no contact. 6 months ago he suddenly disconencted... and today i still love and miss him..
just now i saw a picture of him and his friends in a movie house. he was smiling ear to ear.. how can he have a good time with them and not with me? how can he spend time with friends.. who were not with them in his lowest time...who did not have a clue he was deep in addiction? i was there by his side through thick and thin.. yet he chose to ignore me.. to set me aside.. the pain remains.. questions....
just now i saw a picture of him and his friends in a movie house. he was smiling ear to ear.. how can he have a good time with them and not with me? how can he spend time with friends.. who were not with them in his lowest time...who did not have a clue he was deep in addiction? i was there by his side through thick and thin.. yet he chose to ignore me.. to set me aside.. the pain remains.. questions....
I woke up this am with the same thoughts of how could he be the way he is (the addict) appearing to be ok after what he did to me and my family--a functioning addict. I have seen that extreme/sudden disconnect also only it has been a few years. I believe the answer is the drugs that he is on can completely mask the real person- his appearance is like a false person. I believe the addict in my life is medicating himself daily with prescription meds also.
I do believe they do have times of extreme depression, remorse, side effects from the drugs which they keep hidden as best they can. I think many are like this and only some of the closest to them really can see it. They are sick though and getting sicker.
I think they only want those around them that can't see how sick they are and are unaware of the drugs they are sneeking--so hard on us.
It is only a matter of time before the overdose, liver failure...
I think the addict has 0 focus on the harm/hurt he has caused to others. I know it is hard but this is about a disease taking over the person. The addict is in denial and also those around that person too. Others like us, can see it but can't fix it or control it. We have to try try to take the personal hurt out of it...anyone who is close to an addict will be hurt if they don't detach emotionally.
Thanks for posting this -want to hear from others also.
Then, one of his coworkers found one morning that his coffee cup did not contain coffee but vodka. Of course, this person then made it their crusade to try to "fix" him. And...that got nowhere.
Unfortunately, the addiction comes before anything and anyone. My spouse left his family since he had a choice.....get help for your drinking or leave. He left. And, he ended up dying of end-stage liver disease. The addiction won.
Try not to take it personally. It really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the addiction.