Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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son clean but has some residual behaviors

mom-of-3
mom-of-3
17 year old son has been clean for over a month but, at times, his behavior mimics using. I honestly do not think he is using for a number of reasons too long to list. Having said that, his counselor thinks he's a dry drunk. I googled what that means (even though I had an idea) and from what was listed - it sounds like my son. It also stated that because of this attitude or behaviors, the chances of relapse are greater, which makes sense to me. So....he gets turned down by a 90 day drug residential treatment center - now what? I am told that no centers will take a non-using person. This doesn't make sense to me because even the ones using - after a week, month, or more they are clean and then are taught how to change their thinking patterns.

He only had a 30 day treatment last summer. To me..that wasn't enough.

Anyone else experience this?
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is strange, because I have seen places that only take people who test negative. I guess because they don't detox people. I don't know what to tell you. Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
How about some intensive outpatient counseling? AA or NA? There's got to be something if not treatment.
deleted_user
deleted_user
As a teenager, I would strongly advise you not to trust a teenager. Maybe confront him about it. Or, confront a close friend of his that is aware of the situation to see if they are suspicious too.

If he is currently not in an outpaitent program GO ASAP please and a good therapist always helps too!
joemm
joemm
Rehabs, Programs will only work if he wants them to.
He'll find his own way, in his own time.
Peace to you mom.
Joe
debraccc
debraccc
Hi there
This is a great chance for your son to stay clean and build a positive happy life. Try and get him into an intensive outpatient course as that will help him work through the stages. He is probably still angry over having to give up the alcohol and therefore exhibiting the behaviours of a dry drunk. He is so young I think that there is a great chance that he can rebuild his life but he will need to commit time and energy to it by attending meetings and having therapy. My son is double your sons age and we are still trying to help him stop drug taking. Its hard because most of his adult years have been spent in active addiction
I wish you luck
Regards
Deb
mgs1
mgs1
The process is...
Detox usually 3-7 days.
Rehab - 30-90 days
SoberLiving Home 6 months to a year.
If your son has not had counseling to address the issues that drive him to use - nothing has changed. The drug is not the problem. The issues are. Getting clean is the first step. If that is all he has changed - he is a dry drunk. Is he working the program? Does he have a sponsor? Is he getting intensive counseling to address his issues? Group Counseling? Consistent Exercise, meditation, Yoga... My suggestion is to Google SoberLiving Homes for your area and find one for your son. He will have chores, curfew, required meetings, and be tested on a consistent basis. After 30 days he should get a pass for an overnight stay at home.
mom-of-3
mom-of-3
Update: Son has made a remarkable attitude adjustment that I cannot explain, particularly over the last week or more. I thought those dry drunk behaviors were going to be around for awhile but they disappeared. Perhaps it's the new counselor? Perhaps because he's been clean has actually listened to what people were saying about his attitude and decided to make some changes? Who knows? All I know is that this is the very best I've seen him since ...well.....years. He wasn't even close to this coming out of residential treatment. Now he is interested in fixing the messes he made with his academics.... Is this our son? This same son, at 17, stayed home Friday and Saturday night - spending time with his PARENTS. All I can say is I'm going to enjoy this time. More to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Just had to share something good for a change.