A few weeks ago my son got his hands on some Ketamine and I had to give an ultimatium either get help or get out, He had a breakthrough cryed ( which he never does) admitted, and agreed to get help. I found a doctor ( psychiatrist) he went to his appointment only to wait for 2 and a half hours and still not be seen ( my husband was waiting in the car this whole time for him) so I called my husband to see how everything was going and he told me Matt was getting very agitated because he still was waiting to be seen. Then my husband said where did you get this doctor from? Our insurance co i said why? He says cause it looks like the place matt used to go to rehab young mostly males hanging out in droves smoking and waiting for their appt. Basically the Dr. is a suboxene pusher and i am not saying suboxene isn't helpful for some but when i called to make the appt the secretary kept saying well the cost for suboxene is 300 first visit and 150 each visit thereafter I told her i am not looking for suboxene treatment for him just a pscyhiatrist to help w his depression/ anxiety I should have known right then and there but as with everything on this journey you learn as you go. Well Matt finally had enough and walked out and called me and said " I don't want to go to anyone that does suboxene treatments I don't need it and i don't want it can you please find someone else." Of course i told him 1st thing tomorrow. so i did and he goes next thursday but remembering back to january when he was in the pscyh unit he kept saying i need to be put on suboxene and i thought it was just trying to put a bandaid on the problem plus i know they can abuse the suboxene so I wasn't really for it well he never did end up going on it the pscyh at the rehab he went to put him on an antidepressant but he soon finished rehab and stopped taking it. That was in april and May and June were not good months lots of drinking and then July got a little better till the Ketamine thing and for the next 3 weekends no problems at all . Went to a concert no drinking or drugs been out w/ friends no B.S. and this morning he called me to tell me he was going to the gym tonight with a friend from H.S. Right away I am suspicious red flags all over the place I have been on his case about joining the gym for months yea yea i will he always says but never does so when he called me and told me this I thought about it all day He is telling me what i want to hear i am thinking so when he got home I said I am suspicious of your story why all of the sudden are you going w a kid from H.S. I right away think hes lying hes going to get drugs so he said You have been telling me for how long to go to the gym and hang out w people that are doing good things and now i am trying to do that and you don't believe me, So I said let me see your phone show me the text where you discussed this so he proudly takes his phone out and shows me a bunch of texts basically catching up w / this kid and telling him all he has been through and that he has been trying to clean up not use and get his life back on track w/ the kid telling him that is great and sure he would take him to his gym as a guest so on and so on. Well I felt like complete shit, i hate that i have learned to distrust everything he tells me I know that is not my fault and so does he but I am glad that he took the intiative to reach out to someone good for him and I hope someday (asap) that i can believe in him again and know he is telling the truth I hate the lies that go w. addiction. So tonight I am glad to say that I was wrong!