Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My son has a history of opiate abuse since 2012. He overdosed twice and has been to rehab twice. He got control of his addiction after his first rehab stint in 2013 but then after rehab, became depressed and started seeing a psychiatrist who prescribed Xanax and valium. He would mix these meds with alcohol and for about a year had a really good time while living in my home. Would stop drinking for a while and pick up again. After one night of partying I had to call the cops and he got violent. He actually went back to rehab on his own to get off the meds and alcohol. He only went for 21 days and is going to be evaluated next week for an outpatient program 3 times a week. My concern is this, he has been home a few days and hasn't gone to a meeting in two days! He just sits on the couch looking miserable and depressed. Does not talk to anyone and says he's very anxious. He is not doing anything to help himself. He looks miserable without his pills and booze. My concern is that this is only going to lead him right back there. Is this behavior normal after rehab??? Anxiety and depression??? He looked so good when we visited him, almost like he was excited to start a new life. I am so sick and tired of being disappointed in his actions. I offer to go for a walk with him, a movie, anything but he just sits there not talking and when I do ask him if he's okay, he says, "no, I'm anxious".
It's about recovery and after rehab.
What's happens is they get a high from the programs and bonding with others. They live healthy 24/7. Then boom day 21 or 28
Comes and they are home. Not everyone gets "Cjanged"
In that time. They need a six month.
With you son telling you he is anxious I would be worried too. Sitting around all day is the worst thing he can do. Not going to meetings another sign to worry. To me these are sure signs a relapse is coming. I do agree with the other advise of sober living. Though a lot of them have active users. You need to research. He needs a job or school and structure.
All you can do is calmly sit down and shut the tv and talk. Tell him how things need to be. Tell him how you love him and are worried. That he needs meetings and more support. Maybe longer term. Keep talking. Set some rules. I have done all the tough love in the world with my youngest. Doesn't work. Makes it worse because he's a depressed type kid. Talking helps. He doesn't feel alone and is much more open to doing the right thing.
He's alone on the couch because he's unsure how to handle his being released to a clean life without enough knowledge and tools to keep it going. Anxious because inside he's fighting not giving into his old life.
With active addicts. My sons cost $600 a month and they tested him only when they thought he was using. No manager slept there and checked at 11pm to see if they were in on curfew.
Meetings were mandatory. But not supervised. The free one across the street was filled with addicts still using. So those who really have had enough will get clean living there. Those who don't and are court ordered use.
Not sure of the answer. Your son may be faced with some hard decisions. I'm praying he takes the good
Road
when my son felt that way in rehab, he knew he should go ahead and do it.
and if he drinks first? he is already no longer sober.
exercise helps exhaust them and boost their endorphins...
he needs a longer, more controlled structured program.
Bottom line and. Im in recovery so i speak for myself. I had to have consequences
My family almost love me to death as i did with them. Finally thank. God ENOUGH is ENOUGH. They are in jail safe not shooting dope up. I know they aren't on the streets. No more bailing them out. I pray God will get their attention and recovery has a chance. I gotta take care of me and my recovery. Codependent no more by melanie Beatie is awesome. God bless to all. Letting go letting God is a process. Times a minute at a time. Works if I work it.
Everyone has their own path. For my son it was a 90 day program, 10 months in a sober house (affiliated with his rehab) and a healthy lifestyle after that.
He had some near misses in that slippery slope about 3 months after leaving the sober house and living on his own. He seemed to think he had all the tools. We did allow him back home in July to get in his feet with clear boundaries. He had to actively stay sober meaning at least 3 meetings a week and take care of himself and seek better employment.
Thank God he did all of that and remains sober and living at home for now. He's managed to grow up a lot and put his sobriety first. It can happen but your son has to want it and believe that not only can he achieve sobriety but he can find joy again.
The problem is that your son needs the pills to feel normal. It's not to get high. It's very difficult to simply cut out all drugs and alcohol cold turkey, even with support from meetings or even a sober house.
My son has been off opiates for almost 3 years. He needed an opiate replacement--first methadone and now Suboxone. Would your son consider Suboxone combined with a non-addictive anti-depressant? If he's completely off the pills and doing well, I would never recommend getting on Suboxone because it's just as addictive. However, if he is openly saying he's going back on the drugs, this is a better choice.
The one caution is that mixing alcohol with either methadone or Suboxone can lead to overdose.
Tonight we're having a conversation with our son on some of the same topics that you are dealing with. He's drinking alcohol with his Suboxone, has been unemployed for almost 3 months, and dropped the two classes he was taking because of anxiety. I think that opiate abuse may have been related to underlying anxiety and depression and getting off the opiates exposed this. It's time to deal with the underlying issues instead of just covering them up with alcohol and marijuana.
It's really infuriating to see them throw away their lives, completely unable to function.