For all my new friends,,,can't be so hard on yourselves, if there was a simple switch to turn off so our addict would just quit,gee life would be grand. Really the drug use is only a symptom of the addiction,,it numbs them, for having to face reality,,an addict lacks self estem,confidence,and feels unworthy ,,an addict does not want to live this way,they hate it, they want the "normal " tools to cope with that you and I have,,,is it possible to love an addict,,,only when you detach from them, and lI've the person who they are,,,,that's why you keep hearing from us that have Been in your spot,,,,,over and over,,,,boundaries are so important not just for the addict, but for the ones that are involved with them,,,arguing with an addict is useless,,nagging them only makes them feel like a failure and they just go out and use to cope with the disappointments,, you can never control. , cure, nor are you the cause for their addiction,,, say what you mean,and mean what you say,,,from my experience if you keep conversation to 15 words, your not repeating yourself, and the addict can not take words out of context and use them against us,, stop enabling, making excuses,or continueosly asking how much or the last time they use,,, they will just lie to you,,,tough lLove does not mean you turn your back on them, it means that you lI've them much,that you REFUSE to stand by and watch them destroy not only them but us,,,,an addict wants us to say no to them,,,and mean it,,,, there does come a time when you just have to surrender them to your higher power , and pray that if they do die,that they are found right away,,,, what I did,,,,, was out my daughters name inside a helium balloon and let it go,, and watched it float away, until I could no longer see it, let me tell you that was the most peaceful moment in my life,, my addict knows that I will always be there , but I'm no longer spoon feeding her,she knows that if she used,the doors are locked,she has been in jail, for 90 days, did not bail her out, she got a court appointed lawyer ,, she dies get out on the 29th and this time around, I have changed and feel confident ,,,
Remeber to only control yourself, and make yourself happy, if you want peace, create your own peace, and there are so many of us in here, that give excellent advice,information, and comfort, I truly sure I am in the position I'm in because of this support group, and my outside ones,, and my faith in God gives me the strength to carry on

God bless you