Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My son's "self detox" lasted about 18 hours. I was truly not surprised. He was gone for 2 days and then returned home and has been in his bed for 2-3 days feeling miserable. He looks absolutely horrible. My guess is that the last time he showered was 2 weeks ago today. His hair is matted to his head and he hasn't changed clothes. He has plenty of clean clothes and his own shower, but he simply does not have the energy/want to get himself off the bed and into the shower or do anything else. Besides the opiates, I believe that he has a major depressive disorder. Which came first? The opiate abuse or the depression? Depression does run in my family and addiction runs in his father's family. Is it possible to co-treat for both of these disorders/issues? He says he is willing to go for a drug and alcohol screen in order to get into a detox (3-5 wicked days) center. Then they have a 35 day rehab program. He also says that he wants to go to the methadone clinic that he has been to, but I am not sure that is going to be of any long term help for him. Take methadone every day and then what? My husband's patience is running thin, although with the help of a counselor (and his daughter who is a social worker), he has surprisingly become more supportive of me and more aware of what/who my son has become. My son has no job, no insurance, etc. My older son has offered some financial support, but I am not sure just what my younger son needs and then will willingly do. Any and all suggestions/advice are welcome. I am seriously afraid that I am going to lose him permanently. Thanks.
salvation army....ER....any of it works if they want to take the help.
Don't use sibling's money...it just causes resentment and there will be enough of that to deal with.
Afraid to say, he has to decide and do it on his own.
I hope he does.
My son will tell anyone that will listen that methadone saved his life. That said, your son needs to really think through what it means to go to the clinic every day. In our city, the clinic was a 35 minute drive each way. Then he lost his driver's license and had to take the bus, which only stopped at the clinic every hour. There were times when he was "dosed" in 5 minutes. Other times it took an hour. Going back and forth to the methadone clinic was a 4 hour round trip every single day. Oh, and his assigned dose time was about 7 am, which meant a very early morning every day. He also had occasional nausea and vomiting from the methadone and the clinic doesn't replace the dose if you vomit it up.
We knew this would be the case for the first 90 days and agreed to take him. Legally, they can start allowing him to take doses home after 90 days--one extra dose a week after 90 days, 2 doses after 180, etc. He never met the requirements for phasing, so he was never allowed to take doses home except Sundays and holidays. (He had marijuana in his system and also missed doses some days because of transportation issues).
He had to go to jail for a week because of his OWI and could not get a dose. He had to go through withdrawal in a jail cell. Methadone withdrawal is worse than heroin withdrawal because it stays in your system longer. Then, when he couldn't get to the clinic consistently because of transportation, they suddenly discharged him. He had 10 days to taper off the medication. He was in withdrawal the whole time plus another week after that before he could find a doctor that would prescribe him Suboxone.
Now that he's on Suboxone he has his life back because the doctor can prescribe a 30 day supply. He is doing much better. It also doesn't have the side effects.
Methadone can be abused by taking home the take-home dose on the same day as the regular dose. There's also some risk of abusing Suboxone.
Vivitrol is another option. It's a monthly shot, so the convenience is great and chance of abuse is gone. It can be expensive if not covered by insurance.
Like I said, methadone saved his life. I strongly believe that some sort of an opiate replacement is needed to prevent relapse. He just really needs to know what he's getting into and really weigh the pros and cons of methadone, Suboxone and Vivitrol.
I know no one wakes up and wants to be an addict, but once there they have to learn to WANT to get better and no one can do it for them.
As far as Methadone, Suboxone etc go, that is something HE has to decide with his counselors, everyone is different and depending on their situation, their mental state, the dr's and the counselors will know which way to go.
Prayers and hugs to you and one piece of advice, take care of YOU through this whole thing. Don't let his addiction bring YOU into the black hole with him. (I know it can, i've been there SEVERAL times over!)...BE GOOD TO YOU!
Be strong! Tell him there is no other option but to go get professional help.
Our now-recovering addict son is 29. He detoxed himself successfully a year ago today!!! However, although he detoxed from drugs, he fell back on alcohol. His relationship with drinking ended last July when he landed in jail. From the jail cell, and with every family member & friend refusing to offer help of any kind whatsoever, he finally came to the end of himself. It was at that point that he entered Teen Challenge, a long-term residential Christ-based rehab for men & women of all ages.
We HIGHLY recommend this program! Find info at:
http://teenchallengeusa.org/
NOTE: Teen Challenge is NOT a medical facility and does not offer detox. If your son needs professional detoxing, he would have to go through detox prior to checking in to Teen Challenge.
I can't say enough about this program! We watched our addicted, belligerent, defiant, rebellious son transform into a calm, humbled, Christ-like man in a matter of weeks. He LOVED the program. He immediately felt accepted, loved, and nurtured in the environment.
The one requirement is that the addict MUST be ready to get clean. The fee is nominal, the rehab program is excellent, and the results speak for themselves...Teen Challenge has the highest success rate of any rehab in the U.S. - consistently since it's beginnings in the late 1950's.
It's not just a matter of leaving addiction behind, it's a matter of changing every aspect of one's life.
We, too, have both depression and addiction in our families. Most psychiatrists won't treat for depression until an addict has been clean for a certain period of time so that they are able to determine what the root problem truly is.
The MOST important thing any of you can do for your son is to release him to experience fully the consequences of his choices. Offer him unconditional love but absolutely no financial support.
Don't shelter him, feed him, or pay for anything for him. Before he realizes his need for help, you must stop meeting his needs. This is the most difficult thing any parent can do, especially a Mom.
Remind him you love him but let him know you're done enabling him. If he agrees to get help, help him but not financially. He MUST put forth effort on his own. There are more than enough programs available to him that will fund his recovery.
Trust God for the outcome.
*hugs & prayers*