Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Hi,
I'm newly married. Unfortunately he is an addict. He got cleaned up for awhile and that when I married him. He has fallen backwards completely. To my horror and shock he started shooting up pain meds and got mad at me for refusing to help him do it. I've never even seen anything like that except on tv. He says I need to grow up. Or he will tell me straight up.. you aren't gonna like it but.... he doesn't try and hide his behavior but instead puts it right in my face with the "what are you gonna do?" I need to find out books or pointed in the right direction about why I can't seem to break this off. I used to be such a strong independent person. Its not like I'm so deeply in love or anything.. I just can't seem to get the strength to get out.. I"ve never had that problem before. I don't even know what to all that in order to look for guidance. He has also started drinking again. Its 100 dollars for three pills in which he takes in 15 minutes. No wonder we are always broke. geeez louise!
I'm newly married. Unfortunately he is an addict. He got cleaned up for awhile and that when I married him. He has fallen backwards completely. To my horror and shock he started shooting up pain meds and got mad at me for refusing to help him do it. I've never even seen anything like that except on tv. He says I need to grow up. Or he will tell me straight up.. you aren't gonna like it but.... he doesn't try and hide his behavior but instead puts it right in my face with the "what are you gonna do?" I need to find out books or pointed in the right direction about why I can't seem to break this off. I used to be such a strong independent person. Its not like I'm so deeply in love or anything.. I just can't seem to get the strength to get out.. I"ve never had that problem before. I don't even know what to all that in order to look for guidance. He has also started drinking again. Its 100 dollars for three pills in which he takes in 15 minutes. No wonder we are always broke. geeez louise!
you are now codependent. there is a book about it...listed somewhere with this site...codependent no more.
I guess it is good he is so open about it...but why shouldn't you have the same rights to be opinionated about things as he is?
Ok...I can't tell you what to do...(but in my mind, I am seeing the movie forest gump..."run forest, run")
but
Open a bank account in your own name and build an emergency fund. Hide anything worth money that you need or love, like jewelry from grandma etc.
learn to say no.
Don't say anything unless you are going to do it. then, don't say some long drawn out thing...he won't remember it. say it short...and do it. 100%
A real marriage is for sickness and health. he isn't really in this marriage...except maybe for comforts you provide.
so.
make a list of all the good and bad...look at it, and decide if you want things to be this way (or worse) 5 or 10 years from now.
annulment?
glad you found us, sorry you had to.
all advice is at least worth what you paid for it...but we have all been there. welcome.